YouTube Must-Sees

The current year end double issue of Rolling Stone Magazine (Dec 28, 2006- Jan 11, 2007) lists 10 Great YouTube moments for 2006 which I recommend checking out if you find yourself bored at work, bored at home, or simply a slave to the interweb.

as an aside, my thoughts on YouTube: "The Devil created YouTube to destroy productivity. Similar to the way that Gargamel created Smurfette to destroy the Smurfs. The idea was to distract from daily life- to brain wash and to absorb the free will of the subjects so as to render them helpless, mindless, slaves to a higher power. The only difference is that Gargamel faild. All hail YouTube."

Anyways, you should pick up a copy of RS to see all 10 recommended videos (as well as a comprehensive year end review of news and entertainment) but I'll show you my 2 favorites below.

1. Notorious B.I.G. Freestyling on the streets of Brooklyn at the age of 17. You know how on E! True Hollywood Story they always interview the high school drama teacher or English teacher of a star about the pre-fame years, and they inevitably say something along the lines of "I could tell that this kid had something special."? Well, usually I respond to that statement with a resounding "BS!" Of course you can say that now after said individual has made tons of money and become famous. You probably hated the kid and would NOT have remembered him or her had you NOT been contacted by the E! Channel to be on TV and say that very thing you just said. Well, I guess my skepticism is limited, however, because after watching this video, which actually gave me goose bumps, there is no denying that this particular Brooklyn kid had talent! To those who debunk hip hop as an art form, I challenge you to project, to lyricize, and to command an audience as well as the late Biggie did. The man had skill!
















2. Elvis Presley Unchained Melody 1977. I have never been a huge Elvis fan, but I acknowledge and appreciate what he did for rock and roll, and celebrate his legacy by singing Heartbrake Hotel at karaoke. The King is often the butt of jokes which portray him in his last days as a bloated drug addict, with an exaggerated wavering voice- a tragic shell of a former sex symbol and musical genius. However, to watch Elvis perform Unchained Melody in 1977, shortly before his death, one can clearly separate his dark side from his true artistic beauty, which could never fade, no matter what was going on in his personal life. While watching this video, one word came to mind: Captivating. My eyes were glued on the facial expression of a man that loved music more than life, and who put every ounce of his being into his performance.

My flight out of Detroit metro this morning left at 7:23 AM, which means that my fellow passengers and I woke up pretty damn early to wait through long lines at the check in counter AND security to make it on that plane before it took off. That being said, WHO among us would want to make friends on ANY flight let alone a 1 hour flight that leaves before the sun rises?? I'll tell you who- the Jane-Ass that sat behind me on Spirit flight 316 from Detroit to New York today! (ya see what I did there? I said "Jane-Ass instead of Jack-Ass because she is female! Get it?)

Any-hoo, I get on the plane (I had a middle seat, but what-ev, I don't sweat the small stuff) and once my row was full, and I had fastened my seatbelt low and tight about my hips, I laid my head back for an attempt at a snooze. But nooooooo! I had a talker behind me, I did! We'll continue to call her "Jane". Jane is strategically placed in the center seat of the row directly behind mine. As soon as the poor fella and ladie who had the seats next to her sat down, it was off to the races! Not only was she one of those people that tells you her entire life story, assuming that you are interested, but she was ALSO one of those nosey types that tosses out a barrage of semi-inappropriate questions at whomever is closest. Ick! A double wammy!

Just so you get a feel for what I had to sit through in the 15 minutes or so WHILE WE WERE STILL ON THE GROUND I'll list the factoids that I became privvy to while simply sitting silently in my own seat, minding my own bees wax: WARNING you will NOT believe that what you are about to read was made known to me via completely unsolicited overheard conversation in the course of 15 minutes, but I guarantee you that this is no made up tale that I tell!

The things Jane wanted our fellow passengers to know about her:

1. Jane's parents live in Ohio- not Toledo, but a town near Sandusky (home of Cedar Point Amusement Park)

2. Jane was in town for Christmas visiting her parents (I can only imagine what sort of chatter goes on at their house at Christmas! They must serve losenges instead of ham in order to properly lubricate overworked vocal cords)

3. Jane (and apparently others in her home town) flies through Detroit because its cheaper than flying into Toledo. (ya don't say? I'll remember that when I plan my next trip to the Sandusky area the day after NEVER)

4. Jane now lives in Myrtle Beach, and has a layover in New York.

5. Jane is a sales associate in Myrtle Beach, a job which she took on only after discovering that the modeling industry was not for her (see further details below re: modeling).

6. Jane was dropped off at the Myrtle Beach airport (and will be picked up today) by a rather unlucky fellow who she has only gone on a few dates with. Jane does not like him all that much but she is using him for a ride (obnoxious self-righteous giggles ensue from Jane upon divulgence of this fact)

7. Jane recently purchased a refurbished lap top, but is not too technologically savvy. In fact, when Jane's new man offered to purchase her a wireless card for said laptop, she adamently refused, finding the thought simply absurd! She would, after all, just as soon take her beloved cat with her on trips than a laptop. (At this point I became shocked that Jane was so enamoured by a cat- she does NOT seem the type to speak to animals as if they were people, and carry them around with her wherever she goes for constant attention from a helpless warm body.)

8. Jane purchased the laptop because she had previously used the desktop computer which belonged to her ex-boyfriend, whom she dated for 3 years. Jane feels as though she wasted 3 years of her life with the wrong guy. (I am very sad for Jane. She is so friendly, I don't know what would make her ex break up with her. I am also very sad for Jane's ex boyfriend who was probably hospitalized from either having choked on or suffocated in cat hair-remember she brings kitty everywhere- or a severely damaged ear brought on from constant chatter).

9. Approximately 3-4 years ago, Jane moved from Ohio to New York to pursue modeling. She had an agent. When you are a model, you MUST have an agent. However, when Jane tried to do monologues for commercials and such, she became nervous and would forget her own name. This is quite unusual for Jane because she was very active in theater and choir in high school. Due to this incapacity to do anything right (and perhaps also due to the fact that Jane resembles ex NBA star Larry Bird in stature, pants size, and facial bone structure) she called it quits and left NYC.

10. Before settling on her sales job in Myrtle Beach, Jane interviewed for a position as a flight attendent on a very small plane, a "puddle-jumper" she called it. Apparently Jane was the only lady who not only displayed the charisma and skill necessary to serve soda in plastic cups to travelers, but also had a college degree. Sadly for Jane, however the interviewers measured her, and upon discovery that she was 5'9'', broke the news to her that she simply would not fit in such a small plane because the maximum height they were looking for in a potential flight attendant was 5'8''. (I am sure they were crushed when they realized that they could have staffed the Mohammed Ali of aircraft hospitality, but them's the breaks!)

In all fairness, I must give Jane credit where credit is due. She wasn't 100% self absorbed. She did manage to ask the travelers seated next to her where their parents lived, where they lived, what their current jobs were, where they went to school, whether they had roomates and if so what did their roomates do for a living, and whether they had agents, because afterall in her experience, you simply MUST have an agent!

At this point we TOOK OFF, and I was able to block her out by the sound of roaring engines and eventually the sweet relief of my ipod tunes. To Jane I say this: It was very interesting learning about your life story, albeit indirectly, in such a short time frame on the plane this morning. Please call me whenever you plan to fly to the midwest, and I will be SURE to lock myself in my bedroom huddled in a ball on the floor of my room, rocking back and forth and tearfully screaming your name.

Whoa

This day is flying by! Just wanted to say
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays EVERYONE!

Im leaving in a hour for the airport, so safe travels to you all! Detroiters: I hope to see you all while Im home. New Yorkers: I'll catch ya when I come back next week!


Love,
Talia

You can't make this stuff up...really, you can't

Ok, its back....another wacky IM conversation between tweedle D and tweedle double D. Also, this is an actual event which I am describing in the reproduced conversation below, that clearly demonstrates the absolutely undeniable fact that the STUPIDEST stuff in the world happens to one, Talia T. Page, Esq.

ME: I went out last night for jenn's going away party
ME: I was already in a bad mood because there is no good way to get to 7th and C via public transportation
ME: plus I wanted to run errands and play with my new computer
ME: so getting there was sheer hell
ME: then I do get there, order a beer, and they take cash only, of which I have NONE
ME: thenI spill the contents of my (now broken) wallet on the floor of the crowded bar
ME: THEN
ME: I got drunk
ME: because I was expecting this to be a dinner affair
ME: (it was not)
ME: so I was gonna share a cab with Leslie
ME: but she left with her new man
ME: and I was left with Nick
ME: anyway he puts me in a cab (gives me money)
ME: I get home
ME: and alas
ME: my keys will not work
ME: I have to wake up steph and sarah
ME: they cannot open the door from the inside
ME: I am locked out, but worse
ME: they are locked IN!
ME: the neighbors come down
ME: everyone is in uproar
ME: I pee under the porch
ME: call the landlord
ME: it is 2:45
ME: AM
ME: I make friends with a visitor a few doors down who is having a smoke
ME: he goes to Cooley law in Lansing!
ME: He is 26 and his name is Joe
ME: Joe and I try to make a running charge at the door
ME: I am hungry
ME: steph passes me granola bars and a hat and gloves through the window
ME: she takes photos of me
ME: I am sad
ME: our upstairs neighbor comes home with a boy
ME: he is tall
ME: he breaks the door
ME: they go upstairs
ME: the landlord arrives
ME: he asks me who has broken the door
ME: "who broke this door?" he says
ME: I tell him a stranger did
ME: he gets mad...mumbles something about fingers in the wrong place
ME: I repeat "fingers?"
ME: Then he mumbles something about having mispoken and tells me to go about my business
ME: I am confused
ME: I go to bed
Elizabeth: i am crying
ME: Im glad you can make funny happy time of my misery
Elizabeth: that is hilarious
ME: (I am laughing too)
Elizabeth: the image of steph passing you granola is killing me
ME: lol she almost passed me a zuchini boat
ME: thats what I really wanted

Photo Time

Time for the moment you've all been waiting for- pictures from our holiday party last Saturday. I had to sift through almost a hundred pics from throughout the night, and narrow it down dramatically, so here are those that made the cut: Enjoy!

This is our ever popular mistletoe. Yep, I got a smooch! :)






At one point in the evening, there was a debate about whether to play dance music or christmas music, so I took it upon myself to split the baby and put in a Pearl Jam boot- pretty sure this is me jamming out to Sonic Reducer!



Toward the end of the night, Sarah got feisty!











There was plenty of dancing, and general whooping-it-up...

My favorite Massachusettes resident :Boston Bobby drove down for the party! I miss you hot stuff!

John and I gettin silly as usual!

I see I wasn't the only one taking advantage of the mistletoe in the middle of the room!

WOW, it got pretty crowded!




Look Beth, we used our personalized martini glasses!

Even our bathroom was festive

This is me pacing myself- a rare event, indeed!

End of the night giggles: Sarah and I have several alter egos, and these are our favorites
Somebody fell asleep in the chair. It appears I am not impressed with your t-shirt, Bobby. (notice I still have my dress on under the hoodie and over the sweat pants.)

Thanks for yet another amazing night at club 35! We'll see you all again for the anti-Valentine party??

Good morning

Good morning, everyone! Those of you who made it out for the party (and there were many more than we expected) - Thank you! It was a fabulous night! Aside from my burned foot, a broken glass, and a really sticky floor, I am pleased to announce that there were no casualties. I even made it to bed with pajamas on and everything. Pictures may be doable by tomorrow, since they were all taken on Steph's camera, so please stand by. The video is hilarious- something about a midget, an invisible kayak, mistletoe and a dradle?!?!? You gotta see it! Oh, and Steph and I apologize for putting that Beyonce song on repeate over and over and over. I'll bet you never want to hear "You must not know 'bout me" ever again, eh? What? Its a good song!

Anyway, today I MUST share with you the UNCENSORED version of an SNL skit which aired Saturday night, and starred Justin Timberlake and Andy Samburg. Freakin hilarious! I am totally digging the 1990 Color Me Badd style they've got going on! How do you feel about their idea of the perfect christmas gift for the lucky ladies in their lives?

"Step one: cut a hole in a box"

"Step two: put your junk in that box."

Have a lovely Monday, kids!

Hey

For some reason, I'm in a great mood today, so I'm gonna take back all that crap I said before about invitations to my party: EVERYONE'S INVITED! Come one, come all to Brooklyn this Saturday for great company, great drinks, and don't forget your mistletoe-on-a-stick hat! See ya there!

















Ok, back to random babbling....


Since I am in a good mood today, I have been laughing at just about everything since I woke up. I'm currently reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, by Dave Eggers. I got this book because a very good friend recommended it, and it turns out he was correct in assuming that I would like it. I like Eggers' humor, though sometimes his stream-of-consciousness style is slightly difficult to follow (especially if you are reading, like me, in short spurts during transit mostly). He has a way of writing which resembles the way most of us think: interjecting absurd thoughts sparked by not so absurd thoughts, and trailing off into hilarity, fantasy, and often paranoia. AHWOSG is based on the author's true life story, which is fascinating, if only for the simple fact that he was able to coherently construct an entertaining novel after a series of tragic life experiences. Anyway, if you're looking for a book, and you like noon-boring true stories that display subtle, dry humor, pick it up. Its good- 'ts goooooood!

More randomness....

There are some strange, perhaps disturbing observations I have made about myself and my habits recently. Because I am somewhat strange and disturbing in a general manner of speaking, I'm going to list them here for all the world to see. I don't know why, but I also don't know why not:

1. I am an honest to goodness germ-a-phobe. If I touch a public railing or similar object that is touched by the grimey masses, or shake anyone's hand (and I only do so out of complete necessity) I am aware of an invisible germ coating on my hands which will exist in my mind and control my thoughts until I am able to scrub my hands thoroughly under hot water. I also swipe under my nails to get any sneaky germs which may go there to hide from my soap lather.

2. I always have to get in and out of my bed on the right side. I am so disturbed by this one that I have actually tried to break myself of this habit- forcing myself to get into bed on the left side from time to time, but each time this occurs, I am irked and bothered, and its just not worth the headache.

3. Whenever I drink coffee, I do so out of a straw, bypassing my front teeth so as to minimize stains. Also to this end, I swish out my mouth with water after every few sips of coffee. EVERY TIME I drink coffee I do this.

4. Every time I throw any piece of paper away, I rip it first in half, then I double it and rip the halves in half. All paper in my waste basket is ripped this way.

5. Every time I notice a certain specific time on any digital clock (I will not tell you which time this is, however) I make an angry face at the clock. I started this a long time ago, for a specific reason, which is currently irrelevant, but yet it is now one of my compulsive neurotic habits , and so I continue to do the meaningless frown EVERY TIME I see this exact hour and minute on the clock. If for some reason I cannot make the frown face (like if I'm being watched by someone who I am concerned would find me crazy) I frown in my head to myself.

6. Every time I see a penny on the ground, I DO NOT PICK IT UP, because that is dirty (see above germ phobia) but I acknowledge the penny so as to glean some of the luck which may have been bestowed upon me if I had picked it up. You know, the old "see a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck", well since I am prohibited from picking up dirty things, I do the next best thing, and I make a mental acknowledgment of the penny. EVERY TIME.

7. Whenever I blow my nose (which I love to do by the way, and for reasons unbeknownst to me) I fold the tissue in half before I blow. If I have gotten the tissue from one of those pocket packs for which it has already been folded, I specifically UNFOLD the tissue, then refold it my specific preferred way. I must do it this way or the blowing goes all wrong.

There are a ton more of these weirdo quirks I have, and perhaps I will recount them as they occur to me. Until then, put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

Cheers, Talia

And what does that even mean anyway? Are these people, usually Professors or TAs, simply exclaiming the name of their favorite television show for your edification before signing the email? If so, should I begin signing "My Skin Could Kill Me, Talia". Thats one of my favorite shows on Discovery Health Channel.

This is now day 3 of an ongoing debate between my cousin and I. You see, he is going to be a TA at Michigan State next semester, and we're trying to decide whether he should, in attempt to break this awful "Cheers" habit among those in his position, come up with his own, intriguing, and equally ridiculous signature line to cause his students much confusion and, with luck, fear. We have, in between uncontrollable giggles, come up with a long list of options for him to very seriously sign emails next semester. Here are some of our favorites so far:

Knick nack paddy wack, give a dog a bone, Nick

Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care, Nick

Backstreet's back alright!, Nick

Whoever smelt it dealt it, Nick

Ain't no lie, baby bye bye bye, Nick

Sham a lam a ding dong, Nick

MMMMmmm Bop, Nick

E-I-E-I-O, Nick

Bo don't know diddly, Nick

Your mother wears combat boots, Nick

I ain't to proud to beg, Nick

The dish ran away with the spoon, Nick

Kilroy was here, Nick

Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman, Nick

New Jersey is for lovers, Nick

Lather, rinse, repeat, Nick

Do not take on an empty stomach, Nick

Ribbed for her pleasure, Nick

You can dance if you want to, Nick

Grandma got run over by a reigndeer, Nick

Hidey Ho neighbor, Nick

NORM!, Nick

I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down, Nick

Take a chill pill, Nick

Walk like an Egyptian, Nick

Clearly, the possibilities are limitless. Feel free to submit some of your own, for my amusement.

Shake what your momma gave ya, Talia

Talia's Song Pick-o-the-week

I am anxiously awaiting The Lemonheads show with Beth this Friday! Mr. Evan Dando and the rest of the fellas will, no doubt, be on top of their game at Irving Plaza, and one song I hope to hear is No Backbone from their latest self titled album, released earlier this year. Most of you remember The Lemonheads from the ninetys with hits like Into Your Arms, off 1993's Come on Feel the Lemonheads, and who can forget their poppy cover of Simon and Garfunkel's Mrs. Robinson, which appeared on their 1992 album, Its A Shame About Ray.

So, it follows, this week's song pick is No Backbone. I interpret these lyrics to feeling like your life is stuck inside a song, where the lyrics repeat, and they're not bad, but they're not the best, yet they keep playing, and you dance and go along with it, every time you hear the chorus. But you know there's a better song to play if only you had access to it, your favorite song, where the lyrics make you melt and the chorus makes you cry, but its not playing now, so you dance to the other song, and you don't complain, because you have no backbone, because its easier, and because that song that you're dying to hear is just too serious, too important, too real for the time being.













No Backbone
By: The Lemonheads
It's dawned on me again
I can't balance in betweens
It's no longer familiar to me
It's become routine

The bedroom ritual
A simple way to feel
Without running the risk of anything real
Ever being given, ever being shown
Back in the bedroom no backbone

Standards I'd kept, in the back of my mind
Are now just rules to break from time to time
I'm way past worrying about it gettin' a hold on me
I realise I ride on it's back for free

The bedroom ritual
A simple way to feel
Without running the risk of anything real
Ever being given, ever being shown
Back in the bedroom no backbone

Addictively I'll stick to the safety of the script
But I know I'll end up settling for a less than perfect fit

The bedroom ritual
A simple way to feel
Without running the risk of anything real
Ever being given, ever being shown
Back in the bedroom no backbone
Back in the bedroom no backbone
Back in the bedroom no backbone

Listen to No Backbone on AOL Music- The Interface

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Great Story

Recently, I attended a Toys For Tots dinner in Brooklyn where I needed to bring a toy to donate. So, I went shopping, picked up my favorites from childhood: a Barbie, a My Little Pony, and an Etch-a-Sketch. Well, I successfully donated the Barbie and Pony, but I just had to keep the Etch-a-Sketch, because that thing is just sooo addicting!

Anyway, on Saturday, I went out shopping and I had the Etch-a-Sketch in my bag to play with on the train. On the way back to Brooklyn, I whipped it out and started playing with it to kill time. Most people bring a little something to keep themselves occupied while in transit, right? Almost everyone has an ipod, book, newspaper, videogame, something! I did not think it was the least bit odd to bring my fun red toy for such an occasion. So, I'm playing on the crowded train, hardly noticing people's stares, and definately not acknowledging them. What, you've never seen a grown woman, play with toys before? Wait, don't answer that! The Chinese lady sitting next to me leans in and politely asks me what it is that Im playing with. "Is that a game?", she asks. I gave her a brief description of my toy's intended purpose, and carried on. THEN the girl next to her starts laughing and chimes in about how she used to love her Etch-a-Sketch when she was a kid. I smile, a little annoyed, and go back to my very important sketching.

About 10 minutes later, the same Chinese lady, who has kept her eyes on my drawing this whole time, leans in once again and says joyfully, in a perfect Chinese accent "You ahh veddy skeeeeled!" Translation for numb skulls: "You are very skilled." I could hardly contain my amusement with this comment, but somehow I stifled my laugheter and managed a polite smile and a "thank you" for the compliment. And as any humble artist would respond, I added "well, I havn't played with it in a long time. I'm probably a little rusty."

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, you are reading the blog of an Etch-a-sketch master! (takes bow at her desk)!!

I tried to take a phone pic of my drawing, but the glare from the plastic screen mucked up that idea. I'll see if I can take a picture with the flash off on my digital camera, so I can share my work with the world. Really, it would be an injustice to keep my skeeells to myself.

Nothing funnier than a fart joke

You may have heard this already, but last week an American Airlines flight from Washington DC to Dallas made an emergency landing due to passengers and crew members smelling burning matches. Apparently, after the plane was grounded, and ALL passengers and luggage was searched, a female passenger admitted to lighting matches to mask the smell of her severe gas, caused by a medical condition. This woman, has not been charged with any offenses, as its acceptable to bring matches onto an airplane for safety purposes, but you are NOT permitted to light them! She won't, however, be flying on American Airlines for a long long time!

I had not heard about this story until Saturday night when I was watching SNL, and they did a spoof of this lady on Weekend update. It was hilarious- castmember, Kristin Wiig, came out as "Gloria Patrick", the flatulent passenger, (said woman's real name is not public knowledge) dressed pretty much like a soccer mom- white blouse, sweater vest, short curly hair, something along those lines. Anyway she comes out all bashful, not making eye contact with anyone, generally sheepish and embarassed as Seth Meyers and Amy Pohler grill her about the incident which caused the airplane to make an emergency landing. A few seconds into the interview, and after she discloses that she has a medical condition which makes her release foul smelling gas, she warns Meyers to leave the set immediately. THEN, she whips out a book of matches, and begins lighting them one by one and swirling the sulfurous smoke around in circles in front of her! It was truly hilarious!

I don't know about you all, but I have always viewed airplanes as the perfect place to 'let go' guilt free. Think about it, its so loud in there, any anticipated sound is muffled. And as far as odors, there are fans everywhere circulating air constantly. Even if there is an odor strong enough to be sniffable, its not going to linger above the creator for long, so as long as you play it cool and don't put up any red flags, you have nothing to worry about! That's just my two cents anyway.

Fart jokes make me giggle. On a related note: When people smell something displeasing and say "pee yoo!", what is it that they are saying? You know, the thing you say, when you make that gesture with your hand waving in front of your nose. Is it "P.U."?, and if so what do those letters stand for? (personally unpleasant?, or maybe its french) Or is it just a sound like stated above? -"Pee Yoo"? At any rate, this saying is not used nearly enough by intelligent adults, and I vote to bring "Pee Yoo" back in full effect! You should use it today whenever you deem appropriate!

Click here and here for stories on the airplane farter!

Grammy Schmammy!

Not that it matters, but the nominees for the 49th annual Grammy Awards were announced yesterday, and though Pearl Jam didn't get so much as a single nomination for their avocado adorned self titled album released this year, my friend Mary J. Blige leads with an astounding 8 nominations, with the Chili Peppers following at 6 nominations. For a full list of this year's nominations click here.

When I was younger, grammys seemed like a big deal. Afterall, most of the magazine pictures and ceterfolds of musicians that decorated my bedroom walls had that same repeated Grammy logo in the background. In my eyes, a Grammy meant success in the music business. Thank heavens, I have gained wisdom and insight with age, and no longer give a flying fig about my favorite artists NOT winning or even being nominated for Grammys. Any-hoo, Eddie and the boys feel the same way, or at least they did back in 1996 when they actually won the Grammy for best hard rock performance for Spin the Black Circle. Click the image below to watch their hum drum acceptance speech on YouTube.

Ok, now that you've watched that clip above, don't you think that Aaron Carter could totally be Mike McCready's love child? C'mon, be honest! the youngest, and arguably stupidest, member of the Carter clan is a dead ringer for skinny, younger Mike!! I know I'm right! I don't need YOUR positive reinforcement! But seriously, you see it don't you??

The Office montage set to Betterman

The Office is one of my favorite shows on TV today. I absolutely LOVE the character development, the humor is just my style- dry, immature, and often inappropriate, and who can resist the whole Pam/ Jim love saga? The tension, the awkwardness, the unspoken heart wrenching emotion- its so awful its gorgeous!

YouTube, has provided me with another dazzling little gem, thanks to my dear friend- and maybe soon to be business partner, Jed ;) Click the Image below to watch a montage from The Office, appropriately set to the tune of Betterman by the one and only Pearl Jam!

I see SOME of you still have decent taste in music!

I am reproducing the article below from Rollingstone.com, which appeared yesterday as part of their Rock and Roll Daily column. I think the contest for best band of 2006 is an obvious choice, but it turns out that this time, I'm not alone! Congratulations Pearl Jam! :)

Since when is YOUR bottom more important than mine, huh? This morning I was standing on the subway (I didn't even make an attempt to sit) but there was clearly space available on the bench in front of me for someone else to have a seat. A woman was sitting on the dividing line of two seats (see my rough illustration below) and was spewing over into a third seat with her large purse, effectively monopolizing THREE seats by herself. When another woman attempted to politely say "excuse me", with a smile, and squeeze herself into the seat that was the least occupied by the sprawling woman, she was given one of the nastiest looks I have ever seen. The only thing that would have justified such a look is if a random person were to come up to her table at a fancy restaurant, burp loudly, blow it in her face, then steal the steak off her plate with dirty grubby hands laughing wildly like a maniac.

Why are people so snotty sometimes? I'm not necessarily a morning person myself, but I certainly don't give people dirty looks for no reason at all. The last dirty look I gave in the morning, was more of an "FYI" to a fellow commuter. Some man had stopped at the top of the busy rush hour subway stairway to do God knows what, but was causing a frustrating back up for no apparent reason. I happened to be late for something (as usual) and as I pushed myself past this inconsiderate man, I simply suggested: "This is not an appropriate place to stand, Sir!" Is that so bad? By informing him of his obvious mistake, I may have saved him a good shoving or two from some less courteous commuters. Eh, its cheaper than driving, and I can sleep on the way to work, so I'll choose the MTA- inconsiderate oversized grumps and all- anyday!

A bit of a Friday rant...

I know, I know, it's a dirty job but SOMEONE'S got to do it, right? Right. Well, is it too much to ask for telemarketers and debt collectors that don't drool on themselves or wear helmets for their own protection? Honestly, how many times have you gotten a voice mail from one of these people who, after your pre-recorded message has been played for their benefit, start in with "Hello? Hello?" !?!?!? What part of the automated "beep" sound lead you to believe that saying "hello" would get you anywhere but the looney bin? Let's face it, even if I were to give the caller the benefit of the doubt in assuming he or she had reached an answering machine instead of a voice mail in which case begging for attention after the beep just might result in a human answering the call, NOBODY uses answering machines anymore!

Or, how about the companies that outsource their telemarketing to India or elsewhere? That's another issue altogether- cheap labor- helping underdeveloped nations- I get it, really I do, BUT, would you mind teaching them English first? Am I asking for the moon here? Its annoying enough to get out of work for the day, turn on your phone, and have your ONLY voicemail of the day (yeah, Im a loser, what?) be a call from someone whose message you cannot even comprehend. I feel for them, I really do. They're just trying to put pants on their 36 brothers and sisters. How about if Sprint hires the unemployed people in the USA first, huh? Then maybe I would understand your message before I deleted it!

My personal favorites are the people who are driven into a life of hiding behind a telephone in a cubicle somewhere in North Carolina because they are too shy and unassured to face people in person. The poor dears whisper inaudibly into the receiver, so that when I play the message back, I can hear ringing phones and their co-workers' ordering meatball sandwiches for lunch in the background! For them, I say a silent prayer that God will clear up their acne, and coax them into a job where they at least see the light of day and shake a hand or two. Then, I DELETE the message. Mission NOT accomplished. Try again.