I'm Sick

Hi...I'm sick, so I'm lazy and uninspired. I'll get back to normal soon, promise!

Till then....HACHOOOOOOO!

Foo Fighters at Madison Square Garden

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Last night I had the pleasure of attending the Foo Fighters' very first show ever at Madison Square Garden (despite being a band for 13 years!)

The opening bands were a somewhat slow start to what would be an amazing headliner! Against Me, from Gainseville Florida started the night off, with a couple of songs which, in my opinion, had a much more powerful impact on the small outdoor stage at Lollapalooza 2007. Next up was, Serj Tankian, front man from System of a Down, who sounded just exactly like he does with SOAD behind him. He danced around in a white top hat, dropped the C-bomb, and generally freaked out every suburban teenage girl that was there to see the Foos with her 2 best friends and wannabe-cool, middle-aged dad (this I discovered indirectly on the subway ride home).

Then the Foo Fighters came out, with a flash of light, and thunderous cheers from the crowd. As Dave Grohl announced to MSG that it was going to be "a long f*cking night", I recognized immediately that this man was a true rock star! He banged his head, tossing shiney brown locks of hair in every direction, and howeled into the micro phone, tagging exclamations like "aw, shit!" onto original lyrics like only the real deal can! I do not own a single Foo Fighters album, but somehow recognized 98% of last night's 2-hour setlist. Clearly a greatest hits set. For me the highlights included acoustic versions of "My Hero" and "Everlong" which were performed in the middle of the floor on top of a round platform which most of us thought was a trampoline until we noticed that instruments had magically appeared on top of it 45 minutes into the show. Dave introduced everone in the band, including guitarist Pat Smear, who was part of the band's early days, but in recent years has been absent. The band finished off strong with a 3-song encore that ended with "Best of You", accentuated by a shower of napkins and toilet paper which were artfully tossed from the VIP boxes at the top of the Garden. (See below for full setlist)

Overall I was impressed! The endurance of these men was phenomenal! The way Dave ran up and down the long-ass catwalk that traversed almost the entire lenght of the Garden floor, without, it seemed, even the slightest shortness of breath, was more than commendable. The same is true for the energy behind drummer, Taylor Hawkins's, solos which seemed to bang on and on ad infinitum (in a good way). The lighting was great. The sound, of course, was great. And the experience was well worth the $29.50 plus service charge.

Now on to the REAL realization I had last night. Yes, I really enjoyed the show. Yes, I thought it was amazing, high-energy, well-played, etc. But the performance left me with an anxious feeling in my stomach. It was the sort of feeling you get if you're kissing a cute boy, but you are painfully aware that both your heart and your head are with someone else. You can't help but enjoy it. You are, afterall, a human being, but it's just not the same. I miss Pearl Jam.

I sat in my seat way at the top of the Garden and I watched those people on the floor jumping and screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs and I was jealous! Insanely jealous, because for many of them down there, I could tell- recognized the symptoms- Foo Fighters are, to them, what Pearl Jam is to me. And that made me sad. I was craving a connection with a band on that level that the people on the floor last night were experiencing, but there's only one band that makes me feel that way: Pearl Jam. And sadly, my band, is not on tour. Foo Fighters are not who I am in love with, but like any warm blooded music loving lady, I smiled and I accepted the kiss gracefully last night, silently lusting for that which I cannot have at the moment.

"If you can't be, with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with", Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Full Set List for Foo Fighters at Madison Square Garden, February 19, 2008

Courtesy of Foo Fighters Message Board

Let It Die

Pretender

Times Like These

Breakout

Learn To Fly

Cheer Up Boys

This is a Call

DOA

Stacked Actors/Drum Solo

ACOUSTIC SET

Skin N Bones

MariGold

My Hero

Cold Day In The Sun

But Honestly

Everlong

Monkey Wrench

All My Life

ENCORE

Big Me

Long Road to Ruin

Best of You

Evil at 36,000 feet!

If someone were to send you on a mission to locate the most deplorable human being on the planet, how long do you suppose it would take? Months? Years? A lifetime? Well, it took me about two seconds yesterday as I sat in seat 3F on my JetBlue flight from Tampa to New York, to realize that the woman who was about to sit next to me in the center seat was the spawn of Satan. Within our 2 hours and 30 minute flight, which bounced and jerked directly through the eye of a storm, the woman in seat 3E committed 4 of the Seven Deadly Sins. Miraculously, I lived to tell the tale, which goes like this…

It started out like any normal flight. I boarded the aircraft, and took my window seat, permitted to pass by the tall white haired gentleman that sat on the aisle. I’m terrified of flying but I play it off well. I have many tricks for hiding my trembling hands and erratic heart rate, and often I am forced to resort to alcohol consumption in order to stop my head from exploding (with the atmospheric pressure 36,000 feet above the earth, I am not entirely convinced that this cannot happen). This was an 8am flight, however, so I resolved myself in advance to less drastic means for surviving the flight. Luckily, JetBlue provides personal satellite TVs for each passenger in the seat back, which, in the past, has proven successful in keeping my mind off impending doom, as long as the ride remains relatively smooth throughout.

About a minute after I had fastened my seatbelt and plugged my headphones into the arm rest, enabling me to watch Project Runway from the actual runway, an overweight (this becomes relevant later) passenger carrying a large duffle bag approaches my aisle and asks the tall, long legged man in the end seat if she can switch. Although I was paying more attention to the TV and less to this passenger, I assume the man politely drew the woman’s attention to the fact that his legs were much longer than hers, and that he’d really prefer to remain in his aisle seat, leading her to reluctantly take her assigned seat in the middle. As a last stitch effort, she asked the flight attendant if she could have an aisle seat, and was gently denied, as the flight was to be completely full. My fate for this flight was now sealed.

The first, and possibly most disgusting attribute of the lady in 3E, lead to the first of the deadly sins which she committed: GLUTTONY. 3E consumed more empty calories on our short flight from Tampa to New York, than any individual human should consume in a week. I am no light eater, but if I were to have consumed a fraction of what 3E did, in that brief amount of time, I would be violently ill, or at the very least intolerably nauseous. It should be noted that she did not visit the rest room once. I will reveal every item which 3E consumed throughout the course of this narrative (in bold for emphasis) but the order and timing is relevant.

3E boarded the flight with a Venti (that’s a large) Starbucks Frapuccino with whipped cream. Before takeoff she popped 1 piece of mixed berries flavored Trident gum. Approximately 5 minutes into our flight, she used her excessively long, hooker-red fake fingernails to play with, and eventually remove said gum from her mouth so that she could fold the wad into a cardboard magazine insert which she then placed into her seat back pocket. This was, no doubt, in preparation for her consumption of a cheese danish, also purchased from Starbucks, which immediately followed.

Within seconds of finishing the danish, 3E proceeded to take out 2 pieces of Big Red gum, which she held in her right palm for approximately 7 minutes before chewing, delayed by an involuntary, possibly sugar-induced nap. As 3E committed her second deadly sin: SLOTH, relief was felt by me and, undoubtedly the man in the aisle seat, because as long as she was unconscious she was not changing the channels on her satellite TV which involved her right elbow making contact with my rib cage repeatedly, nor could was she inadvertently changing the channels of the man to the left of her as she commandeered both arm rests.

Upon awaking from her brief slumber, 3E attempted to put the 2 pieces of Big Red gum into her mouth, but discovered that her body heat had melted the gum to the paper. For the next 2 minutes, she audibly licked and sucked the wax paper from the two sticks of gum, until she could successfully place them both, paper-free, into her mouth. Either unsatisfied with her cinnamon selection, or somehow hungry for something larger and more fattening, 3E removed the gum from her mouth within 10 minutes, this time reserving it for later consumption by placing it on the end of the phony nail on her left index finger.

Immediately thereafter, she pulled out the final Starbucks item, which was a banana nut muffin. At this point, our aircraft began to enter a storm pattern, which caused slightly greater than mild turbulence, and of course set my heart racing. The effect on 3E was not one of fear, but of clumsiness, apparent in that she dropped large chunks of her muffin into her lap several times before it dawned on her to open her tray table. She did so, only after flinging muffin debris off of her lap, and in my general direction. Thank you.

At this point it was time for our in-flight beverage service, and for 3E’s third deadly sin: GREED. When the flight attendant approached our aisle, I ordered a water, as did the gentleman on the end. 3E, however, proceeded to order a Diet Coke (oh, NOW’s she’s concerned about her caloric intake?) and a Vodka with cranberry- “Absolute”, she specified. After informing her that JetBlue only stocked Sky Vodka (that’s cute), the flight attendant proceeded to ask 3E for whom were each of her beverages intended- presumably with the dual purpose of 1.) making sure that she was not ordering an alcoholic beverage for me, who often is mistaken for a minor, and 2.) subtly questioning her greedy endeavors to milk the “complimentary beverage service” to the fullest extent. Her requests were fulfilled. Wrongly assuming that 3E must be full after her array of snacks and beverages, I was further mortified to overhear her request a bag of Terra Blue potato chips. Nauseated, I declined a snack.

As soon as the flight attendants finished the beverage service, the turbulence increased extensively, and all passengers were instructed to take their seats and remain seated for the duration of the flight. We were told that air traffic control was predicting that the remaining hour and a half of our flight was going to be severely choppy due to the poor weather conditions. After making the announcement, the pilots took turns taking a bathroom break, a procedure which requires the lead flight attendant to block the aisle way with the beverage cart, for security purposes. Seated in the 3rd row, it was blatantly obvious to any rational person that the flight attendant could not, under any circumstances, be interrupted while fulfilling her very important responsibility of protecting the cockpit, and the air plane as a whole. 3E, thought only of herself, however, and used that precise moment to obnoxiously flag down the flight attendant, holding up a wad of trash that she had accumulated. “Can I have a trash bag?”, she shouted. The flight attendant, politely put her hand up, gesturing to her beverage cart barricade, and informed 3E that she could not get to her at this time. 3E, oblivious to the fact that the flight crew had any responsibilities other than to serve her personally, started to get angry.

As if fueled by the bubbling frustration of the demon seated in 3E, our plane started to plummet and jolt in erratic bursts, causing the pilots (who had successfully relieved their bladders) to instruct the crew, via over head speakers, to be seated for their protection. At this point, the flight gained its status as one of the top 3 most terrifying flights I have ever been on. I was no longer calmed and distracted by the TV programming. I hurriedly searched my bag for my Ipod so that I could listen to the one voice that can bring me comfort in the scariest of situations: Eddie Vedder. I selected my playlist, with trembling fingers, and cranked the volume all the way up, with my eyes clenched shut, and my chest throbbing. At one point, I even felt a lump well up inside my throat and moisture flirt with my tear ducts! I was not going to let fear win. I started to take deep breaths, and with my eyes closed, I began to focus on his voice, picturing the happiest moments of my life that I could think of, with as much detail as I could muster.

3E was completely un-phased by the turmoil that our plane was currently in. In fact, she had the presence of mind to commit the fourth of her deadly sins: WRATH. After clumsily spilling her vodka and cranberry onto her lap, her alcohol laden blood started to boil! She had become utterly irate at the flight attendant for refusing to abandon her FAA mandated duties to collect her abundance of trash that, at the height of our turbulence, she furiously unbuckled her seat belt and attempted to stand up! Her first attempt was thwarted by an air pocket which threw her violently back into her seat. Her second attempt was halted by (thank God) the white haired man in the aisle seat who refused to get up to let her pass. Then, when I realized that she was about to attempt to climb her fat ass over him to make a break for the now strapped in flight attendant, I forcefully, yet politely said “I don’t think anyone is supposed to get up right now because it is very turbulent”, to which she snorted, “I asked for a garbage bag 3 times and she ignored me, now look what’s happened! (referring to the spilled cocktail) How am I supposed to go to a business meeting like this?”

At this I was dumbfounded. What sort of business meeting was she planning on attending wearing a yellow sweat suit and vodka breath? Desperate to come up with something, anything, that would get her to abandon her plan at getting out of her seat at this moment, I offered to take all of her garbage, and place same in my seat back pocket. Reluctantly, she agreed, yet continued to spit and mumble angrily under her breath. While I went back to my Pearl Jam aided meditation, I couldn’t help but notice 3E digging furiously through her oversized duffle bag, banging into my legs and arms, searching for a pen and paper on which she would write a scathing note to the flight attendant.

My light headedness reached a maximum, and the remainder of the flight was a blur to me. I did, however take note of 2 more pieces of Big Red gum and a large package of Twizzlers candy that were consumed by 3E- enough sugar to send a normal human into shock. When we finally landed safely, 3E began huffing and puffing that we were not being let off the plane quickly enough for her taste, and as soon as we could unbuckle our safety belts (she, of course, had long since unbuckled hers) the other passengers on the plane, aware of what a freak show this woman was, gladly stepped aside and allowed her to make her hurried and dramatic exit, which included yelling at the flight attendant on her way out.

I thought I had finally rid myself of her evilness, but I was in for one more chance encounter at the baggage claim, wherein she would nearly plow me over with her over sized duffle bag, complaining that her luggage had not yet come out (none of our luggage had come out yet). Although part of my in-flight meditation included prayers to God, and promises that I would not bad mouth this woman, if only God would be merciful enough to allow us to land safely, I have obviously failed in that mission and will be making it up to God some other way. I could not, in good conscience, let this story go untold. It is not that often, after all, that one meets the most deplorable human being on the planet!

Eddie Vedder Solo Tour in April!!

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When I was little my mom had a small wooden plaque hanging up in our bathroom which read: "Some day my ship with come in, and with my luck, I'll probably be at the airport."

Well folks, I think this scenario has finally happened to me! What should normally be mind-blowingly fantastic news, has me fighting tears today. Eddie Vedder will embark on his first ever (and one could speculate his last ever) SOLO TOUR this April on the West Coast.

Where will I be that week? Oh, I'll be in Michigan. I already have a plane ticket to attend the bridal shower of my very best friend- an event I wouldn't miss for the world. Still, it hurts a bit (ok, ALOT) that I will not be seeing my most favorite musician on the face of the planet in all his solo glory!

But for all you lucky ducks that live on the west coast, or will be able to fly there for one or more shows, here's the info- Repost from PearlJam.com:

EDDIE VEDDER APRIL FOOLS TOUR
02.11.08
Eddie Vedder will embark on a small, west coast, solo tour beginning April 2nd in Vancouver, BC and ending April 15th in San Diego, CA (full list of tour dates below).

Tickets for the general public will go on sale on Friday, February 22nd at 10am* PST through Ticketmaster.com and all Ticketmaster outlets. (*Note: Santa Barbara goes on sale Friday, February 29th at 10am PST).

A special ticket pre-sale for eligible members of Pearl Jam's Ten Club will begin at 10am PST on Monday, February 18, 2008 at tenclub.net.

Fan Club members active as of Feb. 14th will qualify for the pre-sale. Due to the limited amount of fan club tickets available for this pre-sale, only US and Canadian members will qualify for the Ten Club pre-sale. We apologize to our overseas members!

Two tickets per member only. No single tickets. Ten Club tickets for the EV solo tour will NOT be seniority based. Tickets will be held in priority locations, but seat allocation will be chosen at random. The base ticket price for all shows is $65 per ticket, plus additional venue and handling fees. Tickets for the pre-sale will be sold only on http://www.tenclub.net/goods/ with a Visa or Mastercard. No phone or mail orders.

Tickets will be distributed at will call on the evening of the performance. Only the Ten Club member who purchased the tickets will be allowed to collect the tickets. No exceptions.

Tickets are non-refundable. No exchanges or transfers will be allowed. Reselling of Ten Club tickets will result in revocation of all future Ten Club ticket benefits.

All dates are subject to change.

New Zealand singer-songwriter Liam Finn will open these shows.

*PRE-SALE Feb 18 for all shows*
Apr 02
Vancouver, BC
The Centre

Apr 05
Santa Cruz, CA
SC Civic Auditorium

Apr 07
Berkeley, CA
Zellerbach Theatre

Apr 10
Santa Barb, CA
Arlington Theatre

Apr 12
Los Angeles, CA
Wiltern Theatre

Apr 13
Los Angeles, CA
Wiltern Theatre

Apr 15
San Diego, CA
Spreckels Theater

Five special prime-seat ticket packages per show will be auctioned off online along with an autographed limited-edition tour poster. An additional auction package for the Santa Barbara concert, consisting of two pair of premier seats and two hotel rooms will also be auctioned off. These auctions will begin on Friday, February 22nd at 10am PST in conjunction with the public on sale. (More details regarding the auctions to be announced next week). Proceeds from auction packages will support legal defense efforts for the West Memphis Three via the Damien Echols Legal Defense Fund. Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin and Jesse Miskelley (the WM3) have been in prison for 12 years for a crime they didn't commit. After years of waiting for the chance to demonstrate their innocence, the West Memphis Three will finally have hearings this Spring to introduce new DNA evidence proving they could not have committed the crimes for which they were convicted. More info at: wm3.org

Will Ferrell in SI Swimsuit Issue!

Sports Illustrated has appealed to my prurient interests with their 2008 Annual Swimsuit Issue, but not in the way you may think! This year's issue contains a photo shoot of my favorite mis-shapen funny man, Will Ferrell, posing with Heidi Klum in promotion of his new movie Semi-Pro which comes out later this month.

In the movie, Ferrell plays for the Flint Tropics, no doubt a nod to the famous "Flintstones" from Flint, Michigan that dominated college basketball while I was at Michigan State. This man is adorable- love handles and all!

Here's the transcript from Sports Illustrated's interview with Will Ferrell:

When you and Heidi got together for the Swimsuit shoot, the atmosphere seemed ...
Hot! Yeah, she's a wildcat. Pretty much every shot came down to one of us trying to get the other's pants off. The one where I'm biting her -- can I say A-S-S? -- that was one of the craziest moments. She told me, 'You need to just bite my ass.' I was kind of mimicking, half-doing it, so she stopped and said, 'No! Really bite it!' It was one of the most surreal moments in my entertainment life.
How did Mrs. Ferrell feel about that?
My wife is incredibly accepting of all these things. She just rolled with it. She came by the shoot and walked in right at the moment when I was biting Heidi's butt. Heidi felt slightly self-conscious for a second -- and then she went right back into it. [Will stops to tend to his 3-year-old son, Magnus.]
I bet he's going to appreciate these photos some day.
Yeah. He'll either be incredibly proud or incredibly embarrassed by it. One or the other. Probably the latter.
Do you have any Swimsuit memories from, well, not Magnus' age, but after that?
I wasn't exactly a Playboy-under-the-bed kind of kid, but I do remember -- I think -- a Christie Brinkley shoot down in the Seychelles Islands. I remember thinking, 'Wait. This is Sports Illustrated? WHAT is going on here. Mooom?' It threw me for a loop, but I remember being extremely excited about it after that.
You were one of the rare models who had issues about disrobing for SI. Why?
Well, Heidi kept trying to get me in my underwear. Begging, really. I had to say, 'Believe me, I don't have a problem [disrobing]; I do it a lot in my movies. But I'm riding the line of people who celebrate that and the people who are getting sick of it.' There isn't a moratorium on pants removal; I'm just trying to be a little more judicious about it. It put me in the unimaginable position of turning Heidi Klum down when she asked me to take my pants off.
Did you have fun with the period clothes you wore for the shoot and for the movie?
Absolutely. Especially the short shorts. I actually had to push our wardrobe person to make mine shorter. I think today's basketball player doesn't have the guts for it. The Lakers came out in them a month ago and they seemed ashamed. But I found that they lent increased mobility and supreme aerodynamics.
And the other fashions -- like the plaid getup and the neckerchiefs?
Loved it. To give you an idea, when I was 10 I had a vest-and-shorts hot pants suit that I requested to wear just about every day. For [Semi-Pro] we looked at a lot of old footage for ideas. There was this press conference where Rick Barry had this ridiculous neckerchief -- it was like he had a tablecloth tied around his neck it was so long. Immediately I said, 'Jackie has got to wear neckerchiefs.'
And how well-prepared were you to play a basketball star?
Well, I was captain of my basketball team my junior year; a tough 6-foot-3 power forward. I think I averaged about 1.4 points per game. Not quite all-state, but I played tough defense.
And your game now?
In ABA terms, I'm like a Billy Paultz type.
Who?
Exactly. I really only know how to play in the post, but there are a lot of guys who are taller than me. Plus, I've lost a few inches in my vertical. It all makes my game pretty antiquated for my abilities.
How long before you do another sports movie?
Talladega Nights into Blades of Glory into Semi-Pro ... The way things go, people start to focus on that as a story, like 'He only does sports movies rahrahrah.' So I hope there isn't a good sports movie that comes along because I will probably say no to it. Unless they do one about the midget that Bill Veeck used with the St. Louis Browns. Through the wonders of CGI, I would play that midget. [Editor's note: Eddie Gaedel was a dwarf, not a midget.]
To be fair, that's a lot of sports movies. You entered our Sportsman of the Year discussion this year ...
How long was I in the running? Half a second? I have to do some more lobbying, I think.
I can be bribed.
Then gifts are on the way.

Kurt would be so proud!

Two weekends ago, I stayed in on Friday night and watched the DVD of Nirvana's MTV Unplugged session from 1993. Like a true 90s grunge devotee, not only do I still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing on April 8, 1994 when I first heard the news of Kurt Cobain's death(I was 14 years old), but I still get goosebumps when I hear his voice or look into those tormented icey blue eyes.

For this reason, I'm sure, I get excited to hear about or see photos of Frances Bean Cobain, the 15 year old only daughter of Kurt and Courtney Love. Though Courtney also sports a spectacular set of icey blues, I like to think Frances got hers from her Daddy!

Harper's Bazaar has published a recent interview with Frances, in which the author describes this very trait and reveals her endearing personality:
"But it's Frances's eyes that have it: Huge pools of "like green, blue, yellow, purple, orange, gray," they are startlingly and immediately reminiscent of her late father, Kurt Cobain. They are inescapable. "I'm very lucky because my eyes work with almost any hair color," Frances notes breezily. "Thanks for the genetics, parents. Rock on!"

Frances also seems remarkably insightful and humble for such a young girl, who was born rock and roll royalty:

"These people are fascinated by me, but I haven't done anything," Frances says. "I'm famous by default. I came out of the womb and people wanted to know who I was because of my parents. If you're a big Nirvana fan, a big Hole fan, then I understand why you would want to get to know me, but I'm not my parents. People need to wait until I've done something valid with my life."

Click here for more photos of Frances Bean

Remember Donky Lips?

Since the only part of the Super Bowl that I ever pay any attention to is the commercials, I had my eyes wide open when the Amp Energy Drink commercial aired during this year's game. To my utter glee, I recognized the chubby ridiculous dancer as none other than Michael Bower who played Eddie "Donkey Lips" Gelfin on Nickelodeon's summer camp comedy of the early 90's, Salute Your Shorts!

So if, like me, you've wondered what happened to the kids at good old camp Anawanna, you now know what the fat kid is up to: pushing energy drinks during the Super Bowl! Dude, it could soooo be worse- he could be working at a gas station outside Tuscaloosa. Not that that's a bad thing...er...um...

Well, here it is:

2008 Grammy Award Winners

Last night's Grammy Awards Ceremony is among the many shows piling up on my DVR for me to watch when I miraculously get some free time at some point, but thankfully for the interweb, I was able to get a list of winners on Grammy.com this morning.

Looks like Amy Winehouse cleaned up, taking home the awards for Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New Artist, Best Female Vocal Performance, and Best Pop Vocal Album, but lost to Herbie Hancock on Album of the Year. That's kinda weird, no?

Eddie Vedder did not win for "Guaranteed"-AGAIN, but rather the award for Best Song Written For Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media went to "Love You I Do", from Dreamgirls. Wasn't that a 2006 craze? Why are they still getting awards for it? Giver 'er a rest and give the award to the genius who's photo I keep in my wallet, eh?

Also worth noting, Flight of the Conchords took home the award for Best Comedy Album, for "The Distant Future". That's hot!

Update: I've added video of Amy Winehouse's performace on the Grammy's last night via satellite from London (her visa was denied). I'm really impressed! There is a confidence and engergy in this performance that has been absent for months. Looks like she might actually be on the mend!

Reluctant to attend Bonnaroo?

Well, my friends have started a Facebook group for you! And I, as General Counsel and Resident Optimist have the following to say regarding your decision making process:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Metallica fans: If you're anything like me, and my hubris prevents me from drawing any other conclusion, then you have a powerful disdain for everything that a summer weekend in a Tennessee dirt field has to offer you. My plea to you all, however, is to throw caution to the wind and focus, not on the filth, heat, raw sewage, and potential wildlife that could crawl into your underpants while you sleep, but instead on the single overriding positive factor staring you in the face like a nosey grandmother wondering why you’re still single at 28: You are a drooling, maniacal music fan that will stop at nothing to get close to the musicians that you adore- to collect 1 droplet of sweat from a crooning man in his 40s, who holds in the back pocket of his corduroy pants, along with the status you've given him, what is left of your dignity and individuality. Suck it up, buy some Purel and baby wipes, and dust off your AMEX! We're headed to Bonnaroo.

Nada Surf in Williamsburg tonight

I am excited to be seeing Nada Surf tonight at the Music Hall of Williamsburg. Tonight's sold out show is in promotion of the band's 5th album, "Lucky" which hit stores in the US, Canada, Europe, and Japan this week.

Nada Surf will also be playing a sold out show at Bowery tomorrow night.

Human Tetris!

Some of the best game shows come from Asia, I swear! This is hilarious! I'm pretty sure some of these challenges cannot be successfully "cleared" by humans, but it is oh so amusing to watch these willing contestants try!

Bonnaroo 2008 Lineup Poster

OFFICIAL 2008 Bonnaroo Lineup!!

The rumors were correct, Pearl Jam WILL be playing Bonnaroo this year along with Metallica, and many many more!

Repost from PearlJam.com

PEARL JAM TO PLAY BONNAROO!

02.05.08

Pearl Jam has officially confirmed they will perform at the 2008 Bonnaroo Music Festival. The 4-day music festival will be held on June 12-15th in Manchester, Tennessee. Tickets go on sale February 16th at 12:00pm EDT, through bonnaroo.com.

Pearl Jam, Metallica, Jack Johnson, Kanye West, Alison Krauss & Robert Plant, My Morning Jacket, Willie Nelson, Phil Lesh & Friends, B.B King, Sigur Ros, The Raconteurs, and Death Cab For Cutie are among the confirmed acts for the festival. A full line-up and more information about the festival can be found at bonnaroo.com.

As a unique, unprecedented offer to festival fans, Bonnaroo is presenting the option to purchase a commemorative DVD of the 2008 festival at the time of ticket purchase. The DVD will feature exclusive performances and backstage footage, as well as other festival highlights. Visit the official festival website www.bonnaroo.com for more information.

There are no Ten Club tickets for the festival. Tickets for the festival will only be available through bonnaroo.com beginning February 16th at 12:00pm EDT.

Holy Crap, are you ready for this??? This is the official 2008 Bonnaroo lineup, in alphabetical order. I will most definitely be there!
Read more on The Tennessean.com

!!!

Against Me!

The Allman Brothers Band

Nicole Atkins

The Avett Brothers

Back Door Slam

Battles

Black Kids

The Bluegrass Allstars featuring Luke Bulla, Sam Bush, Jerry Douglas, Bela Fleck and Edgar Meyer

Broken Social Scene

Solomon Burke

Dark Star Orchestra

Death Cab For Cutie

Drive-By Truckers

Jakob Dylan

The Felice Brothers

The Fiery Furnaces

Ben Folds

Donavon Frankenreiter

Pat Green

Levon Helm & The Ramble on the Road

Ghostland Observatory

Gogol Bordello

Jose Gonzalez

Grupo Fantasma

Iron & Wine

Israel Vibration

Mason Jennings

Jack Johnson

Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings

B.B. King

Talib Kweli

Ladytron

The Lee Boys

Phil Lesh & Friends

Lez Zeppelin

Little Feat

Lupe Fiasco

MGMT

Aimee Mann

Mastodon

Metallica

M.I.A.

Minus The Bear

My Morning Jacket

Willie Nelson

O.A.R.

Orchestra Baobab

Ozomatli

Pearl Jam

Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

The Raconteurs

Robert Randolph’s Revival

Rilo Kiley

Serena Ryder

Sigur Ros

State Radio

Steel Train

Swell Season

The Sword

Tegan & Sara

Derek Trucks & Susan Tedeschi’s Soul Stew Revival

Two Gallants

Umphrey’s McGee

Vampire Weekend

Abigail Washburn & The Sparrow Quartet featuring Bela Fleck

Kanye West

Yonder Mountain String Band

COMEDY

Mike Birbiglia

Michelle Buteau

David Cross

Zach Galifianakis

Janeane Garofolo

John Mulaney

Jim Norton

Brian Posehn

In your voice

Ellen Demonstrates the Hawaii Exercise Chair

This is seriously a product that is marketed as an exercise device that you can use at home, work or anywhere. Its called the Hawaii Chair, and is thus named, for the circular hula like motion that your torso does while in the chair, apparently working your core muscles. I've seen some silly products in my time, but my favorite talk show host, Ellen, demonstrates just how absurd this chair is!! I love Ellen!

Bonnaroo 2008 Line Up at Midnight Tonight!

Ok, so we have been told by the Pearl Jam 10 Club that we'll be getting some big news late tonight.

It is also known that tonight at midnight the lineup for Bonnaroo 2008 will be announced.

I, for one, am waiting with highly anticipated bated breath!

Here are the clues that the 'Roo peops have released to fuel the line up rumors. I am terrible with riddles so I'm not even going to attempt to wrap my brain around them, but you can if you want:
"For all you lineup lookers....here is a clue:
There is more than one Manchester."
"Memphis isn't Albany"
"Clouds taste this way"
"Some herrings are red, Jimmy"
"Hard Substance, Soft Substance"
"Janis Joplin's preserves will be served"
"Rumors are just rumors, but twist them sideways, grow your humor hair and they become a more yen reality. No, this is not about Fleetwood Mac."
"It's not sour, what is sowed in the earth"
"Three certain birds, add one"
"Look to the center of Europe to get the sound, but the band comes from all around."
"Here is another clue for you message board people. Open up the church and you will see the steeple. Some of your guesses have been way off but correct for the wrong clues. Now I must cough."
"Message board chatter? Yes it does matter. We hear your song requests. So Listen High Listen Low Don't Look Too Hard This Is New Radio Bonnaroo"
"Charlie's imaginary band will not be playing and what he wrote on his hand the last few things he was not saying."
"The Walrus ain't Paul"

Super Fat Tuesday!

Woo Hoo! Today I get to celebrate two of my favorite American activities:

1.) VOTING

2.) Eating sweets till I'm sick!

Today is Super Tuesday in many states, which means I, and lots of other registered voters, get to vote in the primary to determine who will be running for President. I think you know who my candidate of choice is, but I will not attempt to sway you, my readers. The beauty of America is that you get to decide for yourself! Just DO IT!

Also, don't forget that today is Fat Tuesday, and even if you're not Catholic, I encourage you to gorge yourself on yummy treats in preparation for Lent. If you are in Michigan, get yourself a Paczki or two (a Polish jelly donut) and make me proud! Luckily, my local Baskin Robbins has 2-for-1 sundaes every Tuesday, so I'm gonna hit that up. Have a great day!

Rock Around Barack!

I love to see Stone Gossard step into the spotlight. He and most of Pearl Jam (minus Ed) recorded a cover of Rock Around the Clock, cleverly (perhaps) replacing "the clock" with "Barack". It's not musical genius, but its my boys, and I think its adorable. Besides, any effort in support of Barack Obama gets aces in my book!

Repost from PearlJam.com

02.04.08

"Stone Gossard and members of PJ spearheaded the recording of a new rendition of an old-school tune "Rock Around The Clock", cleverly changing the lyrical content to "Rock Around Barack".

Here's what Stone has to say about the recording:

was the first mainstream rock and roll hit in 1955 and it had a transforming effect on American music. At that time, rock and rhythm and blues music was traditionally only played on black radio. I am, by no means, an expert on the history of rock & roll, but this was a big deal. The rhythm of rock music and its energy were so overwhelming that traditional barriers of race and culture broke down with an enormous crash. So here's to new energy, rock and the breaking down of cultural barriers: "Hello everyone. This is a track I've been thinking about for a while. Rock Around The ClockBarack Around The Clock!"

Drums - Matt Cameron
Bass - Jeff Ament
Rock and Roll Piano - Boom Gaspar
Lead Guitar - Mike McCready
Vocals and Rhythm Guitar - Stone Gossard
Background Vocals - Barrett Jones

Recorded By Floyd Reitsma at Avast Classic
Mixed by Barrett Jones at his place.
Paid for by Stone"

Listen to the song here.

No, Heidi, No!

Oh, this is soooo bad! Honestly, I think all this girl does is run around the beach in her bikini and bounce her foobies (fake boobies) around, posing for staged photo ops! Naturally then, it would make a pant load of sense for her do be doing exactly that in her first ever (barf) music video directed by none other than her butt-head beau, Spencer Pratt! The song is stoopid and the video is stoopider! Sorry, I just don't like this girl. She has a great body though. I'll give her that.

Good for her!

In case you missed it, I'm posting the video of Paula Abdul's Superbowl pre-show performance from last night. Yes, she was lip synching, but she looks great, and can still dance for being like 75 years old! Honestly, its a pretty catchy tune and, all told, I definitely don't hate it. "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" is Abdul's first single in over a decade. Gotta give her props for longevity!

Sarah Silverman is F*cking Matt Damon!

Well, not really. She and Matt made this video for her boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel who has been known to close his show by saying "Apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time." Although I don't like everything that comes out of Silverman's mouth, I actually think this is pretty funny.

Pearl Jam to Start on 9th Studio Album!

If you're among the most dedicated of Pearl Jam fans (or just a Sonics fan) you heard this evening that Pearl Jam will be heading into the studio within the next couple of weeks to start work on their 9th studio album! I, myself, received the news almost simultaneously by text message from a fellow die-hard fan and by perusing the Pearl Jam message pit, which is already abuzz with excitement!

Apparently during tonight's Cavaliers/ Sonics game, Pearl Jam bassist and avid basketball fan, Jeff Ament, was interviewed by reporters and confirmed that the band was, indeed, headed into the studio imminently to start making beautiful music!

Pearl Jam's last album, entitled Pearl Jam, was released in May of 2006, kicking off the tour that changed my life! I cannot wait to experience the new adventures, not to mention musical genius, this new album will bring to my life!

YAY!
UPDATE:
A Billboard Blog confirms Jeff's comments at the Sonics game and more:
"While J.I. was watching his beloved Cleveland Cavaliers get obliterated tonight by the Seattle Supersonics (hey, no Lebron though), we took some solace in a quick on-air interview with Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament, who revealed that the band was about to regroup after a six months-plus hiatus.
"We're gonna get together here in a couple of weeks and try and write some stuff," said Ament, who also weighed in on the talents of star Sonics rookie Kevin Durant ("he's fast ... and long") and the quality of the snow in the Pacific Northwest of late ("probably the best in 10 years," he claimed).
Beyond the upcoming writing session, J.I. is in the know that Pearl Jam is going to play some shows before too long. One appearance may even be ready to announce as early as next week."

And if you'd like to put a hopeful 2+2 together, Bonnaroo is supposed to announce their line up in early February!!