Places to go, things to do!

This is another very busy week, so, although I'm still in Florida, I decided I needed to post so we could all get our acts together, ok?

First of all, I am working the Tribeca Film Festival this Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. I get 3 free passes, and since I am busy every night this week except Friday, I will have extras left for guests! Holla if you would like to join me Friday night for a screening which is as yet TBD.

Wednesday I have class at UCB. YAY!







THIS SATURDAY is Cinco de Mayo! This is very important! It's the one day each year when we stop making fun of our Mexican friends long enough to guzzle Tequila, and Mexican beer in such quantities that we invite ridicule upon ourselves. This year, the holliday is extra speical because it falls on a Saturday, which means, it can be an ALL DAY AFFAIR! Sarah and I wanted to have a party, but Steph is out of town AGAIN, and John isn't going to be around, and those are two pretty important guests, so we're gonna decorate anyway, get our ponchos on, and probably head out to a local cantina to get silly, dance the macarena, sing La Bamba, and live la vida loca. Feel free to join us, and as always, to come come crash our place for the inevitable, after party once we (and by we I DO NOT MEAN ME this time) get kicked out of the bar and/ or run out of money.

It's that time again...

My roomate, the aestetition, has informed me that any sunblock which claims an SPF of 35 or higher is simply a gimmick! Uh oh for me! Nevertheless, I have packed my SPF 60 and will be boarding a Jet Blue airplane (keep fingers crossed that I don't get stuck on the runway) for Florida this afternoon to visit my Dad. For those of you who don't know, I am THE ONLY olive skinned Italian who has an acute allergy to the sun :( Mostly, I have to stay out of the sun, but I'm not a complete stick in the mud, and I like to go swimming, so SPF 60 it shall be...

Unless I can piggy back on a neighbor's wireless internet connection, I will be MIA till next Tuesday. Miss me much :)

Potato Wave!

Fans and non-fans alike (yeah, there are a few out there) have been misunderstanding lyrics to Pearl Jam songs for years. Though Eddie has the voice of an angel, it is not always crystal clear what he is saying, and as a result, people who want to sing along often make up their own words based on what they think they hear. Some of my favorites which people have admitted to mis-hearing are:
"Four or five virgins and a pelican", instead of "Glorified version of a pellet gun", from the song Glorified G

"Please please please, stomp the wombat!", instead of "Please please please don't go on me", from the song, Go.

And then there's the ever popular Yellow Ledbetter, the lyrics of which are painfully enigmatic, due mostly to the fact that Eddie never sings the song the same way twice! Even if you were to click on the song title on the official Pearl Jam website, where the lyrics to all the other songs appear, you will find a message that says "Not Available". Needless to say, this provides for the funniest and most diverse fodder for fan interpretation. Here is one such interpretation which includes an equally humorous visual aide a la YouTube:

Potato Wave!

Seriously, what next?

Termites and ants are apparently often confused for one another. According to the experts, there are very specific differences which distinctly classify an insect into one category or the other, but to me they are just plain icky bugs, and both species are unwelcome in my office!



On Monday I came into the office as usual, made some coffee, sat down at my desk, and began to checks messages, emails, etc. About 15-20 minutes later, I turned to put on my space heater (yeah, its been in the 70s here all week but this office is freakin cold!), and I noticed a shit-ton of "bugs" with wings crawling all over the carpeted floor and baseboard along the wall behind my desk. We also have a few cardboard boxes full of files in my office which the "bugs" were using as a jungle gym as well. What's worse, is that they appeared to be molting their wings and leaving them behind as they toured my digs. Freakin gross! Obviously my skin started to crawl immediately and I, as is a common human reaction in this situation, started to feel phantom bugs crawling all over my skin and hair! I left the room and called the secretary in to have a little look-see. She had the same reaction as me, but added that in her opinion, these intruders were termites. The exterminator was called, and I evacuated for a little while. Within another hour or so, they had disappeared back into the walls or floor, or wherever they had come from (leaving their wings behind of course). Eventually, the exterminator came (the same guy who squashed a live baby mouse in front of my eyes, making me cry in front of everyone). He decided to debunk the termite suggestion by picking one of the "bugs" up and playing with it ON MY DESK in front of me. "See", he said, "there are 3 body segments. These are ants. Swarmers." "Oh neat", I replied sarcastically, with my arms folded across my chest in disgust.





I don't give a flying fig what the heck they are. I just don't want to share an office with them! He sprayed my office with what he deemed to be "pleasant-smelling, organic" bug spray, and then went about his merry way killing things with an enthusiastic smile across Brooklyn. Can I get a show of hands here? Who, among you, finds the smell of Ben Gay, or similar mentholated muscle rubs to be pleasant? NOT ME!

For the next two days, I had to sit in an office that reeked of an over-worked athlete (or just my mom who has constant back pain). I took it upon myself to vacuum up the wings which had been forgotten by everyone but me. SICK! I haven't seen anymore bugs, but I am clearly aware now that just below any given surface there are probably tons of colonies of God knows what just waiting to come visit me in my personal space. I like it here alot. :(

Cuckoo for Kokua!!

I know, I'm late with this but as you know I had a crazy weekend- A fantastic weekend, but crazy nonetheless, so for this post I will claim the old "better late than never" gag.

On Saturday and Sunday April 21 & 21, Eddie Vedder and Jack Johnson headlined the Kokua Festival in Hawaii, in support of Earth Day. What is the Kokua Festival? Well this is what their website had to say in response to that question:

"The Kokua Hawaii Foundation is a 501©3 non-profit organization that supports environmental education in the schools and communities of Hawaii. Our mission is to provide students with exciting and interactive experiences that will enhance their appreciation for and understanding of their environment so that they will be lifelong stewards of the earth. While the Kokua Hawaii Foundation participates in a variety of environmental education initiatives in Hawaii, we have three main programs: 3R’s School Recycling, Environmental Field Trip Assistance, and ‘AINA In Schools. More information on programs and membership is available at www.kokuahawaiifoundation.org"

Check out this YouTube clip of Eddie Vedder performing a BRAND NEW song he is said to have written just a few days ago, called "No More War". Day 2 of the festival was webcast live on myspace last night, and luckily I have good friends who call to remind me of this stuff! Enjoy the new song :)

Have a glorious weekend!

HAPPY FRIDAY!
I am actually totally booked this weekend, which is refreshing because ever since law school I feel more comfortable when I have my every waking minute scheduled. Otherwise, I would end up pulling a "last Sunday" all the time (I stayed in bed ALL DAY long till it was time to "go to bed" and I pretty much had that base covered already!).

Tonight I will head out for happy hour...place TBD. There's just something about the first really nice day of Spring in New York that makes me want to get drunk on a sidewalk somewhere! Tomorrow is Hands on New York Day, sponsored by NY Cares. I am on a team composed of alumni from all the Big Ten Universities, and our project is to paint some fence in Harlem. It's supposed to be beautiful tomorrow, unlike last year when I planted flowers in Brooklyn all day in the rain and cold! Then, after a reception with free beer, and hopefully a nap, I'm headed to Hoboken for a birthday party. Sunday is my orientation for the Screenings Department with the Tribeca Film Festival, then brunch, and a session with my trainer (I had to do it because I've plateaued). Anyhoo...I'm telling you all this just for the hell of it because everyone knows cool kids don't do real work at 4pm on a Friday ESPECIALLY on 4/20! You thought I forgot didn't you? Well I didn't and just because I'm drug free, doesn't mean I can't be an honorary slacker for the day!

Here's a clip from Pretty in Pink just for fun. I watched it last night, and was reminded of how much I loved John Cryer's character, Duckie! I would have totally dated Duckie. Have a good weekend :)

Will Ferrell in THE LANDLORD...

Check out this short film, called The Landlord, which Will Ferrell did in order to promote a new YouTube competitor website he is involved with called Funny or Die. It's impressive how well this baby impersonates an Asian lady! My favorite line: "I'm just buzzed!" Super cute :)

Talia's Song Pick-o-the-week

Saturday night I went to Union Pool for M. Shanghai String Band's, album release party. The opener was a lady by the name of Kelli Rae Powell. A sassy little red head, with a ukulele and a sweet voice, Kelli Rae Powell sang songs mostly from her album, The Scandalous Accounts of My Youth, to a very delighted audience. I was impressed not only with her lovely vocals and use of the uke, which has become one of my favorite instruments, but also by her witty lyrics which tell tales of a confident city girl. Kelli boasts of being a Brooklyn girl, and being one myself, I had to give her some props! You can buy (and listen to) her album via CD Baby HERE, and of course, check her out on myspace. Because I enjoyed her so much, I'd like to share with you my song pick of the week, which addresses a concept which I embrace whole heartedly....

Magical Mystical Thing

By: Kelli Rae Powell

love is a magical mystical thing

it puts a smile on your face and makes your whole body sing

and love is a many-splendorous splendor

love makes your heart, makes your head

extra tender

so i don't want you to know me

i don't want you to show me

all that's magical mystical and what love is

if you're funny and you're smart maybe you can get a kiss

but kissing better be all you're thinking of

cause i don't want to fall in love

I can see you watching me from far across the bar

and i'd advise you honey,stay right where you are

unless you're only thinking of just one night

well okay then maybe that'd be alright

i know that love makes you grow

puts your mind to the test

with experience and knowledge

you'll be twice blessed

but i guess i'll leave that stuff for all the rest

because a good screw's a close second best

as long as i don't let you get to know me

i'm not gonna let you get to own me

i'm not gonna waste my precious time

thinking 'does he really love me?','does he wanna be mine?'

i'm never ever gonna be your valentine

no, you don't get to take me in my prime

no, no, no, no, no

i don't want you to know me

i don't want you to show me

all that's magical and mystical and what love is

if you're funny and you're smart, maybe you could score a kiss

but kissing better be all you're thinking of

cause i don't want to fall in love

love is a flame, and flames burn out

love rarely ever has a good turnout

maybe i'll feel differently someday

but meanwhile daddy i'm just gonna play

love is a magical mystical thing

it makes your mom and dad proud you can do anything

but love has a way of spending all your bread

love is gonna kick you till you're dead

no i don't want you to know me

i don't want you to show me

all that's magical and mystical and what love is

if you're funny and you're smart

maybe baby gets a kiss

kissing better be all baby's thinking of

cause this pretty baby

this pretty baby

his babe doesn't want to fall in love

I'm Spinning, Whoa-oh oh ohhh, I'm Spinning...

Last Friday I decided to try a spinning class offered at my gym. I have been curious about it for a while now, but I was reluctant to try it namely because I have watched defeated class attendees drop like flies 10, 15, 20 minutes into the hour-long class while I'm on the treadmill and elliptical outside. Once the class begins in the corner room, separated from the rest of the gym by a glass wall and door, the bass starts pumping from inside, and the shouting voice of the instructor becomes audible. Almost immediately, the glass fogs up, obscuring the cyclists from the view of the other gym patrons. Shortly thereafter, an observer, such as myself, will see the door fly open a handful of times as exasperated cyclists almost fall out of the room, half crawling, half walking to the refuge of the drinking fountain or locker room. Needless to say, that class is no joke. So I was afraid.

Friday, I took the plunge. I showed up the requisite 1-hour prior to the start time in order to secure my spot in the class (I then went home to change and have a snack). When I came back, I entered the dark room (lights were never turned on the whole time), and got on my bike. I had to adjust it quite a bit to fit my short legs and arms. This required assistance from a very friendly gentleman with shiny black spandex.

The instructor was very peppy and amicable and displayed superb muscle tone. She danced to the beat, and easily demonstrated the proper way to execute each move on her bike, which was positioned in the front of the room, facing all the other bikes. She even came around with tissues for people who had runny noses, all the while screaming for us to pedal faster, and display some rhythm. The soundtrack for the class was loud music which consisted of a mix of popular songs that were set to a much quicker tempo than normal with way more throbbing bass; enough to encourage a fast paced work-out for sure.

I could hang with the basic pedaling, but as soon as I was directed to stand on the bike while continuing a quick pace, I felt my legs start to object. This heavy leg syndrome increased as we started to do “jumps” which required standing and sitting repeatedly while pedaling rapidly. All the while, the bike seat acted as a jack hammer, pounding incessantly into my pooper. Not so comfy.

Not long into the class, I noticed that my body was producing an obscene amount of sweat which started dripping into my eyes and mouth. My hair became soaked, as did my tank top and sports bra. I was feeling the burn, so to speak. About halfway into the routine, I started to lose my vision. Things got very cloudy for me, then totally black for mili-seconds at a time. Then came the fight or flight reflex! I was certain that I was going to either vomit onto my bike or fall off of it, setting in motion a nasty domino effect of falling cyclists (this was a tiny room with all of us in tight quarters). At this point I decided to ease up a bit. Up until then, I was increasing my resistance every time the instructor would demand a “turn to the right” on the knob which controlled the tire grips. I have this pride issue which makes me feel like I have to be as good as or as strong as the other people in the class, ESPECIALLY if I perceive them to be older or larger than me. Well, eventually I dripped my pride onto the black rubber floor along with my sweat, and focused on simply NOT having a heart attack! It worked, and I was able to finish the class like a champ.

Surprisingly, my legs were not sore the rest of the weekend. My butt hole, however, is a different story :(. I’ll do it again…but with padded spandex!

Talia's Song Pick-o-the-week

Though I did not, and usually do not, watch Gray's Anatomy, AOL has informed me that Washington native, Brandi Carlile's song, The Story, was featured on last night's episode. I watched the video this morning, and dug what I heard, so I'll make it my song pick of the week. Her album, also called The Story, was released by Columbia this year as a follow up to her 2006 album, On Tour. Of course, she has a mypace page, so have a listen there. Her sound is reminiscent of a modern day Patsy Cline, who she has stated is one of her musical influences.



















The Story
By: Brandi Carlile
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
Yeah you do and I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth
Is hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through but you do
And I was made for you...

How is Jesus like Chuck Woolery?

The other day my friend asked me to log into his Jdate profile and pick out some girls for him. If you don't know already, Jdate is a dating website, similar to match.com, but primarily for Jewish people (J is for Jew). I've actually heard quite a bit about the popularity and success rate of Jdate, and have been pretty intrigued by the whole thing for a while. So, I logged in with his username and password and to my astonishment there were a ton of cute girls who appeared to be quite normal! I browsed, hotlisted a few jew babes for him, and logged out.

Coincidentally, the following afternoon, I was sifting through my junk mail (for some reason certain emails from friends' work email addresses sometimes go in there and I have to actually look at them before I delete them) and I came across an ad for ChristianSingles.com. I think am a christian. I was baptized and raised Catholic, but I have pretty much denounced my faith in "organized religion" to a certain extent. I love the gays. I think Sodom and Gamorrah sounds like a spring break resort, yadda yadda yadda, but I do believe in God, and I try to do onto my neighbor as I would have them do onto me. 'Nuff said.

So I thought, hey, I'm normal and I'm fairly Christian, (without having to attest to the accuracy of the bible) could ChristianSingles.com be as trendy and acceptable as Jdate.com has become? Out of curiosity I clicked on the link, and immediately discovered this sad but true fact. Christians are simply not as cool as Jews. Read this exerpt from the website (my commentary is in green brackets):

Why become a member of Christiansingles.com?
If your intention is to mingle and date casually, this site is not for you.If you can relate to any of the following then you belong here and should become a member of our family.
* I eliminate dating with non marriage minded people. [Marriage? I dont need no stinkin marriage! I make my own money, I have my own insurance, and pay my own taxes. If Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel don't need to get married, then neither do I!]
* I am serious about being married. [Nope, I pretty much see marriage as a joke at this point in my life]
* I am divorced and would like introductions to quality individuals. [I thought The Secretary was a great movie, so I probably don't qualify]
* I have children living with me and feel that God will help me find my Mr. or Mrs. Right. [No kids, but I'm pretty sure God helped me find my house keys the other day without the help of this website so anything is possible, right?]
* I wish for my potential mate to hold the same values and belief system as mine. [I value my Pearl Jam bootlegs and believe that Joe Rogan is the devil. Anyone?]
* I dislike the bar scene and prefer introductions through a reputable Christian dating service. [I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing long enough to come up with a witty response to this one....ahem....Hoboken St. Patrick's Day 2007.....sorry]
* I wish to be part of a 100% Christian network. [What fun would life be without Jerry Seinfeld and Marilyn Manson?]


What I am requesting from the internet is this: How about having a RockstarDates.com site where my single friends and I can become acquainted with rock stars? Rock stars certainly have their pick of whomever they want already, do they not? This could simply provide us all an organized avenue for which to achieve our common goals. Well, I know rock stars read my blog, so I'll let you fellas mull it over a bit and get back to me. As an alternative, rock stars who want to date me can simply post a comment here, and I'll holla back. Inquiries will be answered in the order in which they were received.

Another idea would be this: FunnyManDates.com...I am a sucker for a funny man (ANDY SAMBERG if you're reading this, I am sooo bout it!) so why not have a dating site for girls like me who would rather have a giggle fest with the likes of Kevin James or Will Ferrell than get his and hers pedicures with a lame pretty boy like Brad Pitt.

Certainly I am not coming up with a novel idea here. My point, after all of this stream-of-consciousness rambling, is that if there are dating sites for Christians to find Christians, and dating sites for Jews to find Jews, then why can't I have a dating site to find the rock star/ funny man of my dreams?

CALL ME ANDY!

I can't stand it anymore!

You're gonna find this out tomorrow anyway so what's the harm in me sharing the poster and line up for LOLLAPALOOZA 2007 with you all now? Its sick! Absolutely insane! I am so freaking excited I can hardly see straight. Seriously, I couldn't have hand picked a better line up....ok maybe, but still this is pretty great! YAY!


Pearl Jam
Daft Punk
Ben Harper
Muse
Iggy & The Stooges
Modest Mouse
Interpol
My Morning Jacket
Satellite Party
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Snow Patrol
The Roots
Patti Smith
Kings Of Leon
The Black Keys
Regina Spektor
Spoon
Lupe Fiasco
TV On The Radio
Pete Yorn
G. Love
Paolo Nutini
Amy Winehouse
LCD Soundsystem
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Silverchair
Femi Kuti
Yo La Tengo
Hold Steady
Jack's Mannequin
Stephen Marley
STS9
MIA
Slightly Stoopid
Blonde Redhead
Sparklehorse
Sean Lennon
!!!
Blue October
Son Volt
Motion City Soundtrack
Polyphonic Spree
Peter Bjorn & John
Silversun Pickups
CSS
The Rapture
The Wailers
Roky Erickson
Tapes N Tapes
Heartless Bastards
The View
The Cribs
The Fratellis
Ghostland Observatory
Tokyo Police Club
Rhymefest
Soulive
Cold War Kids
Annuals
Fields
Electric Six
Jim Noir
Elvis Perkins
Sam Roberts
Black Angels
Charlie Musselwhite
Aqueduct
Juliette & The Licks
Dios
Viva Voce
David Vandervelde
Los Campesinos!
Chin Up Chin Up
Ryan Shaw
Colour Revolt
Satin Peaches
Illinois
Arckid
Mickey Avalon
The 1900s
Bang Bang Bang
Bound Stems
High Class Elite
Carey Ott
Matt Roan

Easily amused

I have this new routine which would appear to most people to be rather mundane, and not at all amusing, but I have taken to watching late night talk shows. You know, Letterman, Leno, Conan…I never watched them before because I automatically assumed they were not funny, but I gotta tell ya- I get into bed at night and giggle my ass of for a good hour each night. I don’t actually think anything Jay Leno says is funny, but what I do LOVE are the headlines on Monday nights! I have the most elementary sense of humor, and I love it when someone forgets an “L” and publishes the word “pubic” unintentionally, with regard to something that was meant to be “public”. It gets me every time.

I think David Letterman is actually funny though. He has a knack for asking silly questions and establishing a humorous rapport with his guests. Last night for example, he had David Duchovny on the show, and he was talking about his 5-year-old son, and the funny things the kid said recently. Duchovny told Letterman that his child expressed his desire to be a “Chinese guy” when he grew up, and upon being told that he was not Chinese, but rather, had some Russian in him, the kid responded “I hate that guy!”. Ok, that’s funny enough- kids are innocently hilarious without even trying and that is rich in and of itself, but later Duchovny said he thought his son wanted to marry his mother (Oedipus anyone?). Well, Letterman’s quick reply was “Does she even like Chinese guys?” And with that, I nearly fell out of my bed. Its funny. Don’t judge me!

Anyway, that got me thinking about a story from my own enthralling childhood. I don’t know where the fascination with Chinese people comes from with suburban mutt/white kids like myself but there came a time in my life where I thought Chinese people and everything about China was hilarious. I was in third grade, and I felt so strongly about this comedic inspiration that I decided to change my name to Connie Chung. You remember her, she is married to talk show host Maury Povich and used to appear as an evening news journalist (for all I know she still does) in the 80s. So to effectuate this name change, which I was convinced would be a side splitter to all of my friends (who, it turns out had no clue who Connie Chung was, and consequently missed my comedic genius altogether) was to write her name in place of my own on all of my school papers, art projects, etc. I even refused to answer to Talia anymore, and requested, out loud in front of the class, that the teacher call me Connie Chung (just plain Connie wouldn’t have had the same effect).

After a few days I had to revert to my birth name because my teacher threatened to call home and speak to my mother about the situation if I didn’t. To this day, I revel in the advanced degree of my humor at such a young age. Oh what a joy it must have been to be my teacher. You’re welcome, Ms. Maizy!! Its, funny. DON’T JUDGE ME!

No surprise- Birkhead is the daddy!

Not surprisingly, the DNA results are in and it has been confirmed that Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's infant daughter, Danielynne. Duh. Its not Howard K. Stern, (her former lawyer) Its not J. Howard Marshall (her dead husband), and it's not O.J. Simpson (an ex-football player who used to be famous for killing his wife and her boyfriend).

Where on Earth did O.J. come into the equation anyway? I think perhaps after his whole "If I had done it, this is how..." book and tv special fell through he was feeling a bit desperate for attention and he chimed into the scandalous paternity fight as if to say, "Hey, America, I like to bang blond white chicks!" If you had asked me a few weeks ago who I thought the most likely daddy was, I'd have told you Tickle Me Elmo. Anna had a thing for fuzzy objects and giggling. Well, mystery solved. I hope everyone leaves that poor little baby alone now.

PS, the above named potential fathers are all single, so have at it, ladies! I hear Elmo is quite the charmer!

1. If you were born and raised in New Jersey, it is NEVER acceptable to speak with any sort of foreign accent. I understand being in touch with your heritage and all that crap, and even pronouncing certain proper nouns, such as family names, with an authentic flare to acknowledge the cultural origin of the name, but to roll your Rs and use an accent when speaking regular ordinary English sentences is just weird. Don't do it. You sound silly. I really don't care where your parents were born. You're in the good old U.S.A now. Sorry.

2. When I refer to "chocolate cake" I am, of course, referring to chocolate batter AND chocolate frosting! "Chocolate cake" is simply not as decadent in a chocolate sort of way, if there is some other type of frosting on it. This should be obvious. I love all cake, but when I'm on a chocolate bender, I like to slap myself in the face with the chocolate, ya know what I mean? Ok, so we understand each other. By the way, I want you all to know that after a 40-day hiatus from chocolate, I reunited with my love very early Sunday morning with some fudge. I have to say that those few moments with the fudge were pure sensory bliss, like I have never experienced. I'm sure the witnesses can attest to the extent to which I enjoyed said chocolate. Mmmmmmm...

3. In 1993, Eddie Vedder performed Break on Through, and Light My Fire, with the surviving members of The Doors for the 1993 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction. Mr. Vedder does a pretty badass Mr. Mojo Risin! Those are some seriously big shoes to fill, and I think Eddie rose to the occasion and knocked one out of the park for rock fans of all generations. See the YouTube clip below!

The Dark Side of Oz

Well, it's a short week for me here in the office, since I have Good Friday off, and I know all my Jewish Comrades have worked very little this week, so I feel justified in doing what I do best today: Sitting at my desk and pretending to do work while I immerse myself in the great and powerful interweb! Today I have been inspired by the current issue of Rolling Stone, which features an article on Pink Floyd, to watch clips from the Wizard of Oz which have been synched with the album, Dark Side of the Moon. I've actually never watched it this way before today, and I must say it is quite entertaining.

Kinda makes me wish I were lounging on a bean bag in a smoke filled basement or dorm room, but I'll take my dungeon office for now. You make do with what you've got, right. Here's part 4 of 7 from Dark Side of Oz (to the tune of "Money"). I've linked the other parts below for your viewing enjoyment! If your boss catches you, tell him/ her to talk to your lawyer. Or you could pull one of the following scams
1. Start crying about how Jesus died for our sins and draw fake wounds on your palms with red ink like the stigmata, dripping it all over the work on your desk.
2. Make a yamaka out of paper and walk around your office with your calendar screaming that you can't believe no one reminded you about Passover.

...whichever you think would fly in your particular office setting. Good luck!


Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

I think we need to focus here, people!

If you have been on myspace or AOL Music or just on planet Earth lately, then you've probably heard of Tila Tequila. I'll be honest, I don't know a hell of alot about this woman (I think she is a woman, anyway) but the story appears to go like this: Unknown chick joins myspace, posts several scantily clad photos of herself, accepts friend requests from everyone and their brother's half sister, and now she's been in Stuff Magazine, has cut a terrible "album", has scored a guest commentary spot on AOL Music, and, in my opinion, has way more attention than anyone with no real talent deserves. Is this the new American Dream? Are the real artists doomed to take a back seat on the recognition bus to someone who has given herself a name that conjures gagging imagery of past Spring Breaks in Cancun (why is the tequila so much smoother down there?)??As much as it irks me, she has made it work....whatever "it" is.

Am I jealous? Hell yeah! I'd like to become a household name too, but I'm not exactly willing to use my ass (my ass ain't all that marketable anyway) to get me fame! Ahhh, hell, maybe if I had her ass, I'd examine her marketing scheme a little closer. What I am questioning is the effect the internet has on actual real talent. Have the talented people been replaced by these side show freaks (Tila Tequila) who are usurping the media's attention with absurd gimmicks and a complete lack of skill for the arts? I am a fan of myspace (though we fight every so often), and I think it is incredible how talented new musicians have been able to make a legitimate name for themselves in the music world by using myspace as a marketing tool. Remember Lily Allen's story? Look at her now!

The internet offers options for artists and obviously non-artists alike who otherwise would have no means of rising to stardom. My only qualm is that the internet, in it's role as the virtual land of opportunity, has had the effect of lowering the bar in many instances, for those who will actually achieve fame. Would I be saying all of this if I had my big break already? Probably not, but then again, not unlike good old Tila, this forum is my desperate ploy to be recognized for my keen eye and the visceral wit, with which I dissect all things pop culture- in essence, my skill as a real live writer.

Just to play fair, and in efforts to debunk any suggestion that I have misrepresented Ms. Tequila, I will leave you with her very own words, as she has carefully and strategically posted on her myspace page:

"I'm not gonna sit here and babble about my whole life and the shit I've been through however I will tell you this.....I like to have fun and I like to stay away from violence cuz I grew up with nothing but violence. That's all I knew. That's what was in my blood and I moved away to start a new life for myself...violence is retarded"

*sigh* I think I should be doing more squats instead of journaling. :-/

CONFIRMATION AT LAST!

FINALLY, IT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED THAT PEARL JAM WILL HEADLINE THIS YEAR'S LOLLAPALOOZA FESTIVAL AT CHICAGO'S GRANT PARK ON AUGUST 5th!!!

I TOLD YOU SO!!

10c was nice enough to tell us TODAY because early bird tickets for Lollapalooza go on sale tomorrow (before the official line up is announced).

Get your tickets at http://www.lollapalooza.com
UPDATE: Front Gate handles tickets sales for this event DIRECT LINK HERE! (hope that helps)

See you there!! :)

Get ready to hug it out this weekend!

Maybe they know what they're doing by making us wait months in between seasons, but the new episodes of Entourage, which premiers this Sunday, April 8th, are highly anticipated! I absolutely cannot wait. Unfortunately, I WILL have to wait because I'll be en route from Detroit to New York Sunday night :( Thank God for HBO On Demand!