Seriously, what next?

Termites and ants are apparently often confused for one another. According to the experts, there are very specific differences which distinctly classify an insect into one category or the other, but to me they are just plain icky bugs, and both species are unwelcome in my office!



On Monday I came into the office as usual, made some coffee, sat down at my desk, and began to checks messages, emails, etc. About 15-20 minutes later, I turned to put on my space heater (yeah, its been in the 70s here all week but this office is freakin cold!), and I noticed a shit-ton of "bugs" with wings crawling all over the carpeted floor and baseboard along the wall behind my desk. We also have a few cardboard boxes full of files in my office which the "bugs" were using as a jungle gym as well. What's worse, is that they appeared to be molting their wings and leaving them behind as they toured my digs. Freakin gross! Obviously my skin started to crawl immediately and I, as is a common human reaction in this situation, started to feel phantom bugs crawling all over my skin and hair! I left the room and called the secretary in to have a little look-see. She had the same reaction as me, but added that in her opinion, these intruders were termites. The exterminator was called, and I evacuated for a little while. Within another hour or so, they had disappeared back into the walls or floor, or wherever they had come from (leaving their wings behind of course). Eventually, the exterminator came (the same guy who squashed a live baby mouse in front of my eyes, making me cry in front of everyone). He decided to debunk the termite suggestion by picking one of the "bugs" up and playing with it ON MY DESK in front of me. "See", he said, "there are 3 body segments. These are ants. Swarmers." "Oh neat", I replied sarcastically, with my arms folded across my chest in disgust.





I don't give a flying fig what the heck they are. I just don't want to share an office with them! He sprayed my office with what he deemed to be "pleasant-smelling, organic" bug spray, and then went about his merry way killing things with an enthusiastic smile across Brooklyn. Can I get a show of hands here? Who, among you, finds the smell of Ben Gay, or similar mentholated muscle rubs to be pleasant? NOT ME!

For the next two days, I had to sit in an office that reeked of an over-worked athlete (or just my mom who has constant back pain). I took it upon myself to vacuum up the wings which had been forgotten by everyone but me. SICK! I haven't seen anymore bugs, but I am clearly aware now that just below any given surface there are probably tons of colonies of God knows what just waiting to come visit me in my personal space. I like it here alot. :(