Happy Halloween and Happy CMJ!

First of all, Happy Halloween everyone! I already did my Halloween thang, as you can see below, so I'd like to focus today on THE FIRST DAY OF CMJ with we all know is the College Music Marathon!!!!

There is so much music going on in the city this week that my head is literally spinning! One of my dearest and indiest friends on the planet, Pedro arrived last night, and will be staying with me for the next 5 days for CMJ! YAY!

TONIGHT's HOT LIST: The Cardigans are doing an acoustic set at The Knitting Factory tonight at 6:30 as part of CMJ, Hellogoodbye is playing at Irving Plaza at 7:30, Foreign Islands is playing at The Annex at 9:00, Morningwood is playing at 11:00 at Roxy.....AAAAHHHHHH!! What is a music lovin girl to do???

Check OhMyRockness for a full mind-boggling schedule of events.

This is a glorious Halloween Indeed!!

Party Pictures!!

Welcome to our Halloween party! If you need beer, Brigita Von Slut will bring you some from her beer garden. If you need anything fixed, Sarah, the sexy construction worker will hammer and screw things for you, and if you need someone offed, Foxy Cleopatra will take care of business!









Rodger flew all the way from Chicago for the party!












Miss New Jersey definately enjoys a tall cold beer in her spare time!















Sexy Pilots, and Pirates.....












Puppies galore...












And even a parrot!













One of my all time favorites, practicing a little kung fu on me!


















Wacha doin in Steph's room, guys??? Got the giggles??











Weird, Im making THIS FACE again!













Let the dance party begin!











































We love our new neighbors!!



















Getting a little sloppy, girls!














How about a little flip cup?



If you didn't make it to this party, fear not, we will be having an equally amazing blow out for the Holidays! It turns out we are pretty much awesome at throwing parties! Thank you to everyone who made it out! This was one for the books! :)

A Sight for Sore Eyes?

I was so excited about the Chocolate Fountain at Angie's wedding a few weekends ago, that I didn't even realize that I was being oggled by the fountain man, himself! Peep this- I accentuated the obvious for you!



I'll take that as a compliment, I guess. Better than chocolate, eh? Woo Hoo! PERVERT!

Happy ALMOST Halloween!!

Happy Friday, my friends, and best of all, HAPPY ALMOST HALLOWEEN! As the cool kids know, tomorrow is our party and I am super pumped. Invitees can expect some spooky and kooky surprises, and maybe a bit of Halloween Twister, but my lips are sealed!

In the spirit of Halloween, I am passing along a little cartoon version of The Exorcist reinacted by cute little bunnies! Enjoy, and I'll see you lucky bastards tomorrow!


CLICK HERE to watch

I want to move to Seattle

I just finished watching Singles for the elevendy billionth time, and that movie gets better every time! What I wouldn't give to have been twenty-something in Seattle in the 90s! Chuck Klosterman has argued that women can never be truly satisfied in a realistic relationship because of John Cusak's character, Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything, but I would argue that Steve Dunne in Singles is just as amazing- especially after THIS SPEECH:

"Linda, uh, it's me. I had to call you. It's about midnight. I was just having many beers. And, uh, I just wanted to say what I should have said at the dock. I fucking chickened out when I acted casual, like Mr. Casual. I should have said it. You... belong... with... me! We belong together. And what really pisses me off is that, now that we're really talking, you thought i proposed to you only because you were pregnant. What's that about! I mean... hey, this is not the bathroom! And you know maybe if I had said some of these things at the dock it would have made a difference because, but I think we made a big mistake because, we had good times and we had bad times, but we had times. And I would like to start over. I would like to be new to you. I want to be new to you. I want to be Mr. New. So call me back if you want to. But this is the last time I'll call. And, if you really needed to know how I feel, how I really feel, that's how I feel. I love you. And that's something you should know, so I won't bother you again. So, good night. And good bye. And call me back. Good bye."

To think, they got back together eventhough she never heard that message! Aaaahhh, I could live a fulfilling life vicariously through my favorite movie characters forever!

My new favorite commercial for Bluefly.com

So, I have seen this commercial quite frequently lately, and my roomates want to know if the clothes sold on Bluefly.com are guaranteed to elicit this reaction!

Click HERE to watch the commerical on YouTube, and bear in mind that these people are attempting to sell clothing, NOT condoms! Is it getting hot in here?

New York Cares Day October 21, 2006

Saturday was New York Cares Day 2006, and I volunteered on the Big Ten team this year as a muralist at PS 397 in Crown Heights!

We had the largest volunteer team this year, one of several teams who were disbursed among schools in all 5 boroughs to paint, plant, clean, and make the school environment fun and safe for New York's students! I had a blast painting the front door mural, which was designed by the students, then sketched onto the door in advance for us to fill in with paint.

Here are some pictures of my work! New Yorkers, sign up and become involved at www.nycares.org Its a really great way to meet new people, and give back to the community! There are projects almost every day of the week doing all sorts of things like reading to children (one of my favorite projects) volunteering at homeless shelters, cleaning up parks and gardens, helping animals in need, and visiting the elderly. There really is something out there for everyone! Ok, I'll get off my soap box now! :)

5 More Days Till the Best Halloween Party Ever!

Reminder boys and ghouls: Saturday is the day we have all been waiting for! Dig out your capes and masks, and strap on your....er...uh...fake mustaches!

This is 'bout to the be the party to end all parties! Brooklyn has no idea what its in for This Saturday October 28th, 2006! Come alone or bring your friends, just make sure your ass is on my turf, and I'll take care of the rest! Trust me, you DO NOT want to miss this!

See ya soon, lovies!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Talia

Oh HELL yeah!

It's about damn time! One of my favorite TV shows growing up, Fraggle Rock, is FINALLY becoming a movie!!!

From HollywoodRag
'Fraggle Rock' is to be turned into a movie.

The big screen version of the hit 80s children's TV show - created by Jim
Henson - is being developed Ahmet Zappa, the son of legendary rocker Frank
Zappa.

Lisa Henson, the co-CEO of the Jim Henson Company, said: "We recently had a
talk with Zappa about books and movies.

"During that conversation, I had an intuition that he might be a 'Fraggle
Rock' fan. He jumped out of his seat when he heard our idea of making
'Fraggle Rock' into a feature-length movie."

The film will have the lead puppet characters from the original show -
Wembley, Mokey, Boober and Red - travelling from the Rock out into the human
world for the first time.

Lisa added: "The Fraggles didn't really get into the human world on the
series, so we plan to make the movie more about the intersection between the
Fraggles and the humans."

The award-winning TV show - which premiered in the US in 1983 - ran for five
series and, like it's predecessor 'The Muppet Show', it soon gathered a
strong fan base around the word.

Dude! (emphasis added)

Isn’t it amazing how many varied emotions and expressions can be conveyed in a single word? For instance, I remember reading an email that circulated in college about the many uses and meanings for the “F word” the details of which I will not go into right now (use your imaginations if you will). The point is that society, culture, geography, and demographics all have a huge effect on the way we use certain words in the English language. I’m not telling you anything new, though. Anyone who has ever moved from the Midwest to the East Coast has quickly learned that the words “pop” and “tennis shoes” must be replaced with “soda” and “sneakers” respectively in order to avoid strange looks and giggles from the natives. The most comical variations of word usage, I would argue, come from public high schools in the outer boroughs of New York City. Sarah often brings home the latest lingo her kids use such as “ice cream” used to refer to a stylish accessory such as new sneakers, or “twisted” as a synonym for “drunk”. (Feel free to bring these alternate uses to your locality)

What I’d like to draw your attention to now is the use of the word “dude.” I didn’t realize that I tend to use this word much more frequently than most of my peers, but it has been brought to my attention recently. What is most notable about the word “dude”, is its ability to stand alone and yet convey an entire sentence’s worth of emotion and expression! For instance, I was recently visiting a friend in Boston and was instructed to wake up and get ready quickly because he was going to go get breakfast and would return promptly to pick me up. Well, I got up, rushed through my shower and grooming rituals, and sat drumming my finger nails on his kitchen table for a good 40 minutes awaiting his “prompt” return. I decided to pick up the phone and send a single word to him via text message to convey what I was feeling: “Dude”. My friend got the gist and rushed back to the house to greet me.

(if you google image "dude" this is one of the first images that pops up)

With that singled syllable I was able to say, essentially, “Are you f*cking kidding me? You told me to get up and get ready, and I did it but where the F are you? I could have slept in another half hour!” The AYFKM (are you f*cking kidding me) usage of “dude” is admittedly my favorite!

Another common use (at least among my inner circle) is used over text messages and IM conversations as a device to get someone’s attention. A random, unprovoked message of “dude” followed by silence, generally indicates that some big news is about to follow. An appropriate response to such a message would be “yes?” or “what’s up?” When I receive “dude” from a friend I immediately think “wow, I’m about to hear some serious gossip or a major complaint”, and virtually every time I have assumed correctly.

Used as a replacement for an individual’s name in a conversation, dude is usually derogatory or indicates a negative tone by the speaker. For instance, I have used the “watch it, dude” when I’m running on the sidewalk on 5th avenue in Brooklyn, and some bozo is smoking a cigarette outside a bar, and usually talking on the phone simultaneously, not paying attention to foot traffic, and backs up into my path. Clearly, I am annoyed by this dude’s behavior. I’m sure most of us have used the good old “I don’t know, dude” when describing a situation by which you are frustrated or bothered. Here, the “dude” at the end simply indicates to your listener that you are experiencing a certain degree of discontent.

Well, I could probably go on and on about the various ways to use “dude” in your everyday conversation, but I encourage you to be creative and come up with some on your own!

Later, Dudes.

TODAY ONLY

Eddie Vedder has recorded a ukelele track called "Goodbye" to be featured in the surfing documentary A Broke Down Melody.

Of course, the vocals are beautiful, and the lyrics really tug the heart strings. What can I say, the man has a way with words (even when he doesn't write them). I feel like his voice channels my personal emotions every time!

CLICK HERE to listen to Goodbye as a preview on AOL for the next 24 hours ONLY!

" Jack Johnson, who is featured in the film, will release the entire soundtrack on his own Brushfire Records on Nov. 14, but you can hear Vedder's contribution exclusively on AOL Music for the next 24 hours."

Goodbye

By, Eddie Vedder

i've got our love to remember

that will never change

i have you in my head

and no, i'll never hold you

and i'm still asking why

i guess that this is goodbye

my dreams suddenly seem so empty

i could go it my own, but i feel like playin' dead

and for what feels like the first time

i don't know where you are tonight

i guess that this is goodbye

we lived half our lives together

a hundred years is a lot of weight to bear

and the sun, it may be shining

there's an ocean in my eyes

cause i know that this is goodbye

cause i know that this.. is goodbye

Evolution of a Commercial by Dove

This short film by Dove, demonstrates why real women love what Dove is doing with their recent campaigns to celebrate realistic beauty and femenine body images! Men, appreciate what is right in front of you instead of drooling over fabricated conceptions of perfection!

Click on the image to watch this commercial on Youtube

Analogies and Perspectives

I finished Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, by Chuck Klosterman, and I must say that I am a fan. Klosterman basically draws analogies between unlikely subjects and creates an explanation (seemingly out of thin air) as to why they are inherently the same thing, or often, why one has either affected or completely explains the other. Throughout the book he humorously details his personal understanding of society, politics, and other intellectual topics by likening them to subjects in pop culture such as the NBA, Star Wars, the TV show Saved by the Bell, and the computer game The Sims.

While, some of his theories about the meaning of life, viewed through the filter of pop culture make a bit of sense, mostly the essays in the book are less realistic and more entertaining, because he talks about things that we, as active members of today's society are familiar with. On several occasions I found myself laughing out loud (especially when Klosterman complains about how his character in the Sims can't get any play from fellow Sim character Bella because all she wants to talk about is sailboats).

I also found myself feeling slightly depressed after Klosterman pessimistically describes his love life (and presumably love in general) via the career of Billy Joel (I love you Just the Way You Are was from the heart yet Joel ended up divorcing his first wife) and unattainable perceptions of love perpetuated by John Cusak as Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything, and Coldplay.

Overall, I would say Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs is a very entertaining read, and I would recommend it to all of you.


NEXT UP:

I am currently reading Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores The Hidden Side of Everything, by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. This book came highly recommended to me by a friend who's taste in literature I highly regard, so I am excited to get into it. As usual, I'll let you know if it's worth your time!

From the inside cover: "What unites all these stories is a belief that the modern world, despite a surfeit of obfuscation, complication, and downright deceit, is not impenetrable, is not unknowable, and- if the right questions are asked- is even more intriguing than we think. All it takes is a new way of looking. Steven Levitt, through devilishly clever and clear-eyed thinking shows how to see through all the clutter."

From what I gather so far, the authors of Freakonomics, are doing something similar to what Chuck Klosterman did in Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, in that they are attempting to describe intellectual topics in terms that the every day man or woman can understand by analogizing to unlikely, yet familiar topics. Levitt, however, is an economist and Harvard graduate who uses research, data, and statistics to prove, rather than merely pontificate about, such topics as why school teachers are like sumo wrestlers and why drug dealers still live with their mothers even though they supposedly have such high incomes!

Talia's Song Pick-o-the-week

I flew back to New York from Detroit last night, and as soon as we had reached our cruising altitude I popped in the earbuds, turned the Ipod on in shuffle mode, and this as the first song I heard. When I was in college The Cure's Wish album was the only cd that would play in my cd player, so I listened to it alot. Memories...















To Wish Impossible Things

By, The Cure

remember how it used to be

when the sun would fill up the sky

remember how we used to feel

those days would never end

those days would never end



remember how it used to be

when the stars would fill the sky

remember how we used to dream

those nights would never end

those nights would never end



it was the sweetness of your skin

it was the hope of all we might have been

that fills me with the hope to wish

impossible things



but now the sun shines cold

and all the sky is grey

the stars are dimmed by clouds and tears

and all i wish

is gone away

all i wish

is gone away

all i wish

is gone away

Talia's Song Pick-o-the-week

Well, thats it. Tomorrow the last of my college roomates will be married, and I have the honor of standing up in the wedding. Angie and I met for the first time at Lakeside Mall the summer of 1998. We had lunch together to introduce ourselves because we were to be roomates in 304 Holden Hall West at Michigan State University in August. Angie wore a khaki Abercrombie hat, a red short-sleeved shirt and her white eraser shoes! We talked about our interests, our majors, and I even showed her the tiny Peter Pan figurine I kept with me at all times in my purse to remind myself not to grow up! It was a brief exchange, but we hit it off right away, and I think we were both excited to be embarking on our college adventure together.

We lived together for 4 years in college, through good times (Acapulco, hay rides, and the Players Club CD) bad times (when I was jealous that she talked to mustache), and rotten milk (which I dumped on her head!). I couldn't have asked for a better partner in crime for those 4 glorious years of my life.

When it appeared that I would be moving on to go to law school in New York City without my buddy, we cried on the dance floor at PTs together, but God had a plan for us. A few weeks later, Angie found out that her job with IBM was actually sending her to Poughkeepsie, NY after graduation! We would be in the same state for another 2 years. Although we didn't live very close to one another, I always knew that Angie was just a short train ride away, and we made some more great memories in New York together (who bring's a suit case to Hammerstein Ballroom?)

Now my Angie is all grown up, and will be wed to Mike tomorrow, with me standing proudly behind her. I can't say Im a not jealous that Mike gets to live with her for the rest of his life instead of me, (I actually had to pause to cry when I just typed that) but they are happy and beautiful and I wish them the very best that life has to offer. So far we've made our major life moves together, but on this journey she has to leave me behind.

So, enough of this mushy mush- my secretary is going to think I'm crazy for sobbing alone in my office! I dedicate this song Pick of the Week to Angie. You belong to someone else now, but I will always consider you "My Angie". I love you, Queen!

Angie, By the Rolling Stones

Angie, Angie, when will those clouds all disappear?

Angie, Angie, where will it lead us from here?

With no loving in our souls and no money in our coats

You can't say we're satisfied

But Angie, Angie, you can't say we never tried

Angie, you're beautiful, but ain't it time we said good-bye?

Angie, I still love you, remember all those nights we cried?

All the dreams we held so close seemed to all go up in smoke

Let me whisper in your ear:

Angie, Angie, where will it lead us from here?

Oh, Angie, don't you weep, all your kisses still taste sweet

I hate that sadness in your eyes

But Angie, Angie, ain't it time we said good-bye?

With no loving in our souls and no money in our coats

You can't say we're satisfied

But Angie, I still love you, baby

Ev'rywhere I look I see your eyes

There ain't a woman that comes close to you

Come on Baby, dry your eyes

But Angie, Angie, ain't it good to be alive?

Angie, Angie, they can't say we never tried

Up on the left, down on the right!

Yesterday it was raining when I left work and I was using one of those large golf umbrellas to keep dry as I walked from the office to the subway. I am the type of person that is overly courteous- to the point of my own detriment quite often. Part of my reasoning is altruistic, I suppose, but mostly I am courteous because I berate people who are not, and though I am a great many things, I do not count hypocrite among them!

So, as I approached the entrance to the subway, I stepped completely to the side from the stairs so as to allow the passengers who were ascending the stairs a clear path while I courteously closed my large umbrella before descending into the station. It is common subway practice to descend on the right to avoid obstruction of traffic.

Well the train that had just arrived was, of course, packed because it was roughly 5:30 PM and all the Brooklynites were coming home from work. Well, when I tried to merge across to my proper side of the stairway, I was denied access by the masses. The “up people” were completely monopolizing the entire width of the stairway! Normally, being the epitome of courteousness, I would have waited until all the “up people” had passed, before I tried to go down (even though the unwritten social rules are meant allow for travel in both directions). I like to avoid conflict at all cost, and I would have waited, NORMALLY. But today it was raining and I had already tried to save everyone from being poked in the temples by my giant umbrella and now I was getting wet! Plus, I heard my train arriving, and if I missed it, I would have to sit wet on the bench for 10 minutes before another train arrived. (I know, 10 minutes is not a long time, but when you’re in wet work clothes, the uncomfortable aspect makes it feel like 30 minutes).

So I, as politely as humanly possible, tried to gently ease my way down the FAR left side of the stair case to the extent that I even turned my body sideways to take up the least amount of room and had my nose nearly pressed against the brick wall as I attempted my descent. Well, you would think that I had just attempted to reserve an entire subway car for a private birthday party at 9am on a Monday morning! I was given the look of death by several people, glared at and even purposely shoved! Didn’t they know who I was? I am the person who always puts YOU PEOPLE first! I get wet so that you can be dry, I stand so that you can sit, and I always wipe the seat if I sprinkle when I tinkle! I am NOT the enemy!

I had made it almost half way down when one persistent old woman stopped dead in her tracks (umbrella fully opened, mind you) and refused to allow me to pass! Again, I said “excuse me” and gently nudged in. She looked past me as if I was not worthy of eye contact and muttered in a bitter tone “up on the left, down on the RIGHT!” (Like I don’t know that!) I pushed my way past, and continued along! I wanted to be rude and say something like “Yeah, well I tried that, Lady, but you “up people are hogging the whole stairway!” The whole way home, the meanie that lives inside of me (but rarely ever surfaces) thought of snippy and awful things that I could have said in response such as “If you horrible people weren’t so fat and in such a hurry to get to your meager homes where you will sit and eat meatloaf or pot roast for dinner at the same boring table you will sit at for the rest of your boring, insignificant lives, then I could get down these bloody stairs and be on my way to take over the world…muahahahahah!”

But, I didn’t say anything. Typical.

On the train...

Last night my roommate, Steph, and I got on the R Train at Rector street around 12:30 AM and entered a 3 ring circus! Sitting diagonally to us was a man that was accompanied by not one but two giant tropical looking Parrots: One that was mostly red with bright blue, green and yellow on the wings, and one that was mostly blue with multi-colored wings. He had a rolling suitcase with him and one of the birds was perched atop the handle. The other bird was sitting on top of what appeared to be a duffle bag. Well, an ordinary duffle bag, this was not! It soon became apparent that there was a 5 foot snake inside the duffle bag, which was actually one of those bags that is meant be used to carry a small dog or cat- with the ventilated side panels.


The birds were pretty amusing. The guy, who by the way was wearing sunglasses inside the train at night (I shouldn’t make fun, perhaps he suffers from cataracts), fed the birds a few peanuts, which they shelled and, in an appropriately human-like fashion discarded onto the floor of the subway. He even made one of them say “Hello” for a peanut. I smiled and clapped like the village idiot! At one point the red one climbed onto his lap and he began to stroke its back as if it were a cat. The bird, apparently enjoying the gesture, conveniently lifted both its wings so Mr. Cataracts could scratch underneath. Fool and foul appeared to be in beautiful harmony. It also seemed that the red bird had a thing for the snake in the bag, as he kept trying to unzip it and peck inside.

As soon as Steph realized that there was a snake inside the bag, we had a bit of trouble. It seems she has a bit of a snake phobia from childhood and can’t stand to even look at the reptiles! Just as she began to panic a bit, the man next to us on the train must have smelled her fear and devilishly began asking the circus man about the snake, prompting him to remove said snake from the bag in a car full of people! Thankfully, Steph’s hyperventilating was short lived, because the man put his snake away after playing with it for just a few brief seconds (he he, that was supposed to make you think of penis!). After about 10 minutes of this show, we arrived at our stop and departed the train.

Just your average night on the R train I suppose. How was your ride home last night?

Happy Columbus Day

Normally I wouldn't even think twice about Columbus day, but it turns out this is one of the perks to working for an Italian(besides the free eggplant parm at LEAST twice a week)! I am home in my pjs right now, while most you you clowns are at work, so give it up for my boy Christopher Columbus! One love, my brotha!



From Wikipedia
Columbus Day is a holiday celebrated in many countries in the Americas, commemorating the date of Christopher Columbus's arrival in the New World in 1492. Similar holidays, celebrated as Día de la Raza (Day of the Race) in many countries in Latin America, Discovery Day in the Bahamas, Hispanic Day in Spain, and the newly-renamed (as of 2002) Día de la Resistencia Indígena (Day of Indigenous Resistance) in Venezuela, commemorate the same event.
Italian-Americans observe Columbus Day as a celebration of Italian-American heritage. Columbus Day was first celebrated by Italians in San Francisco in 1869, following on the heels of 1866 Italian celebrations in New York City. The first state celebration was in Colorado in 1905, and in 1937, at the behest of the Knights of Columbus (a Catholic fraternal service organization named for the voyager), President Franklin Delano Roosevelt set aside Columbus Day as a holiday in the United States. Since 1971, the holiday has been commemorated in the U.S. on the second Monday in October, the same day as Thanksgiving in neighboring Canada.
Italian-Americans feel pride in the day due to the fact that Christopher Columbus, an Italian sailor, sailed to the Americas. Many royal courts were interested in financing the voyage, but Spain financed the ships for Columbus' brainchild. Other Americans are embittered by this victory for Columbus because of the ensuing genocide of Native Americans after Columbus' arrival. In the United States, Banks and government offices are closed on Columbus Day

Talia's Song Pick-o-the-week

With a 6-0 win over the Yankees last night in Detroit, the Tigers are looking hungry for an American League pennant, for the first time since 1987! They square off against the Yankees again tonight and no matter what the outcome, I am proud of the Tigers!

My song pick is appropriate because when I was a little kid I actually thought this song was written for and exclusively about the Detroit Tigers!

Eye of the Tiger
By: Survivor
Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

Chorus:
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive

chorus
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Risin' up, straight to the top
Have the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

chorus
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Employee of the Month- MY REVIEW

So as you can see below, I went to see an advance screening of Employee of the Month last night for FREE a la Z100 (which further reiterates my mantra of life: Ask and you shall receive).

For the rest of the world, Employee of the Month opens in theaters everywhere tomorrow, October 6, 2006, but if you want to know whether you should see it or not, I've been gracious enough to give you my review!

Employee of the Month is a not-so-creative story about two goofy guys (Dane Cook and Dax Shepard) fighting over 1 hot girl (Jessica Simpson). The plot line was predictable and slightly cheesy, but I feel like the characters pulled it off, as expected. Basically, rumor gets out at the local bulk discount store that Jessica Simpson's character is known for sleeping with the Employee of the Month. Dax (Vincent) is the reigning employee, but Dane (Zack)is a slacker who wants a piece of Jessica's (Amy's) pie so he tries to step up his game in time to win the monthly award.

THE HIGHLIGHTS:
**Dane Cook is unbelievably lovable and realistically cutsie! He's known for being so silly that he's almost cartoon-like but in this movie he combines surprisingly good acting with an endearing yet slightly toned down funny-appeal, such that he reminded me of the cute funny guy in school or at work that you can't help but fall in love with (I certainly did, and that landed me in therapy, but oh well!)



**Also, Efren Ramirez, most commonly known for his role as Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite, plays virtually the same role in this movie, only his character's name this time is Jorge (not stereotypical at all!). He's Vincent's slightly stupid, usually quiet Mexican sidekick. He probably elicited the most laughs from the audience due to his frequent painful traumas such as smacking his head on the conveyor belt, and taking a golf ball and baseball bat to the melon.

**If you are expecting to see Jessica Simpson's awesome boobie cleavage alot, you are in luck. She is either wearing a very low cut V-neck or a revealing dress in every scene. If you are afraid of seeing her bomb as an actress, you don't really have to worry about that because the writers and directors have made it so that she is in almost every scene, but has very few lines. Mostly she just stands there and smiles or looks confused, which, although this does fit with her Character's persona, also happens to be what she does best in real life(besides sing whiny ballads).

I laughed, and enjoyed the experience overall, but then again I didn't have to pay! I love Dane Cook a little bit more, but that is to be expected because he is the cutest funniest man alive (Do not be confused, Eddie Vedder is the sexiest most magical man alive)

So there ya go, make your own decisions as to whether to watch this movie in a room with a bunch of strangers in front of the big screen or to receive it in a little red envelope in your mail box, either way, I recommend it!

Anything you can do I can do EARLIER!

Woo Hoo....Tonight I am invited to attend an advance "special screening" of Employee of the Month, starring Dane Cook and Jessica Simpson!

Im taking Sarah for her birthday, and I hope Dane Cook is there so he can make out with us! YAY!

I know they are in town because Jessica was on the Today Show this morning, and Matt Lauer mentioned that the whole cast would be on the show tomorrow! (fingers crossed)

Observations from the Airport

I've been quite the domestic traveler this past year, and I've logged some serious frequent flyer miles, yet my intense fear of flying never seems to lessen, regardless of how frequently I fly. Aside from the fact that I absolutely hate the act of flying itself, I do really love the airport- mostly because I love people watching. I've started carrying a notebook with me where ever I go so I can capture the absurd thoughts that go through my head, and here's what I jotted down this past weekend when I was on my way to Michigan for MSU Homecoming.

Suzie
"I am 26 years old and I still fly with a doll in my backpack which I have owned since Christmas of 1983. There is something about my childhood- crazy, frighteningly unconventional as it may have been- that I just refuse to give up entirely. Is it weird that I am not even the slightest bit ashamed of the plastic baby wearing a pink hand made dress and matching bonnet draped over her blonde Don King hairdoo which is boldly bisible every time I open my bag to retrieve something?"

Terrorists and Chapstick
"Terrorists must be behind the idea of chapstick. Fear has risen to the level in the United States that we can no longer bring liquids of any kind, or apparently substances which, when combined with intense body heat in your back pocket, prove to be of a gelatenous consistency, such as chapstick. You cannot bring chapstick or lip balms onto planes in your carry on luggage any longer, but they still sell it at the convenience stands on the other side of security. So, it follows, if you are departing on a weekend trip, you must consume all of your chapstick because once you leave the plane, your chapstick is no longer welcome in any other airport past the ticket counter. Lube up, America! I don't buy it. So here I sit with incredibly dry lips because I refuse to pay for another one of Osama Bin Ladin's stylish turbins via dirty chapstick money! Im on to you!"

Books: Not just for propping stuff up anymore
Ever since people stopped telling me what to read, I have come to realize that books are not the Devil, as I had convinced myself for the first 24-ish years of my life. Somehow, I always know which books are going to be my kind of book, and my latest discovery (albeit a little late, since it was originally published in 2003) is Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, by Chuck Klosterman, which I picked up at Laguardia Apirport before my flight Friday night. Though I am only 100 pages into the book so far, I can already tell you that this is going to be one of my favorites! I'll wait till I'm actually finished with the whole thing before I give you my full review, but in the meantime, look it up, buy it, and peruse. Its a witty, ridiculous, and insightful commentary on pop culture.

Random Thought on the Plane:
"The Russian guy next to me has an unhealthy obsession with prompt collection of service items."

Cure for extreme aero-phobia:
1 tiny bottle of Chilean Savignon Blanc (prep by having a small lunch and no dinner)
1 ipod set to all Pearl Jam shuffle
1 copy of Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs

"Magic words = we have started our initial descent. After that, nothing else matters!"

Give the dog a bone. DONE.

Last night I was at a friend's house playing with the two cutest little tikes I've seen in ages, when my friend asks me if I've heard about the big IKEA catalog scandal. I told her that I had not, and she showed me said 2007 catalog, published in August 2006, which, it is rumored, depicts a photo on the inside cover of a family and a dog with a human penis! I saw this picture up close and in person, and I still have no idea what to make of it. Its NOT his tail, and if it is really his foot, as IKEA claims, its a rather odd looking foot, indeed! See for yourself and tell me what you think? Foot or phalis?

Click on photo to enlarge



What is it with the folklore about hidden penises and sexual imagery hidden in innocent media? Remember in the 1990s when there was some sort of sex scandal surrounding every Disney movie of the time? It was the dust on the ledge during The Lion King, which supposedly spelled out the word "sex", the part in Aladdin where Al supposedly says "Good teenagers, take off your clothes", and the ever popular penis head castle on the cover of the Little Mermaid. If someone with a silly sense of humor actually managed to sneak such references past hundreds of people in positions of authority who are supposed to prevent this kind of thing from happening, then kudos to them! Thats actually really funny. Shame on the people who totally missed it and now have to face the consequences (if there really are any).

Conversely, is America just so obsessed with sex that we LOOK for such references and imagery where they don't actually exist? That we are so eager to see the penis in the dog that our eyes trick us into believing that it's actually there? I'll let you ponder that for now, because frankly, I have had far too little sleep this weekend to continue being so philosophical.