Up on the left, down on the right!
Yesterday it was raining when I left work and I was using one of those large golf umbrellas to keep dry as I walked from the office to the subway. I am the type of person that is overly courteous- to the point of my own detriment quite often. Part of my reasoning is altruistic, I suppose, but mostly I am courteous because I berate people who are not, and though I am a great many things, I do not count hypocrite among them!
So, as I approached the entrance to the subway, I stepped completely to the side from the stairs so as to allow the passengers who were ascending the stairs a clear path while I courteously closed my large umbrella before descending into the station. It is common subway practice to descend on the right to avoid obstruction of traffic.
Well the train that had just arrived was, of course, packed because it was roughly 5:30 PM and all the Brooklynites were coming home from work. Well, when I tried to merge across to my proper side of the stairway, I was denied access by the masses. The “up people” were completely monopolizing the entire width of the stairway! Normally, being the epitome of courteousness, I would have waited until all the “up people” had passed, before I tried to go down (even though the unwritten social rules are meant allow for travel in both directions). I like to avoid conflict at all cost, and I would have waited, NORMALLY. But today it was raining and I had already tried to save everyone from being poked in the temples by my giant umbrella and now I was getting wet! Plus, I heard my train arriving, and if I missed it, I would have to sit wet on the bench for 10 minutes before another train arrived. (I know, 10 minutes is not a long time, but when you’re in wet work clothes, the uncomfortable aspect makes it feel like 30 minutes).
So I, as politely as humanly possible, tried to gently ease my way down the FAR left side of the stair case to the extent that I even turned my body sideways to take up the least amount of room and had my nose nearly pressed against the brick wall as I attempted my descent. Well, you would think that I had just attempted to reserve an entire subway car for a private birthday party at 9am on a Monday morning! I was given the look of death by several people, glared at and even purposely shoved! Didn’t they know who I was? I am the person who always puts YOU PEOPLE first! I get wet so that you can be dry, I stand so that you can sit, and I always wipe the seat if I sprinkle when I tinkle! I am NOT the enemy!
I had made it almost half way down when one persistent old woman stopped dead in her tracks (umbrella fully opened, mind you) and refused to allow me to pass! Again, I said “excuse me” and gently nudged in. She looked past me as if I was not worthy of eye contact and muttered in a bitter tone “up on the left, down on the RIGHT!” (Like I don’t know that!) I pushed my way past, and continued along! I wanted to be rude and say something like “Yeah, well I tried that, Lady, but you “up people are hogging the whole stairway!” The whole way home, the meanie that lives inside of me (but rarely ever surfaces) thought of snippy and awful things that I could have said in response such as “If you horrible people weren’t so fat and in such a hurry to get to your meager homes where you will sit and eat meatloaf or pot roast for dinner at the same boring table you will sit at for the rest of your boring, insignificant lives, then I could get down these bloody stairs and be on my way to take over the world…muahahahahah!”
But, I didn’t say anything. Typical.
So, as I approached the entrance to the subway, I stepped completely to the side from the stairs so as to allow the passengers who were ascending the stairs a clear path while I courteously closed my large umbrella before descending into the station. It is common subway practice to descend on the right to avoid obstruction of traffic.
Well the train that had just arrived was, of course, packed because it was roughly 5:30 PM and all the Brooklynites were coming home from work. Well, when I tried to merge across to my proper side of the stairway, I was denied access by the masses. The “up people” were completely monopolizing the entire width of the stairway! Normally, being the epitome of courteousness, I would have waited until all the “up people” had passed, before I tried to go down (even though the unwritten social rules are meant allow for travel in both directions). I like to avoid conflict at all cost, and I would have waited, NORMALLY. But today it was raining and I had already tried to save everyone from being poked in the temples by my giant umbrella and now I was getting wet! Plus, I heard my train arriving, and if I missed it, I would have to sit wet on the bench for 10 minutes before another train arrived. (I know, 10 minutes is not a long time, but when you’re in wet work clothes, the uncomfortable aspect makes it feel like 30 minutes).
So I, as politely as humanly possible, tried to gently ease my way down the FAR left side of the stair case to the extent that I even turned my body sideways to take up the least amount of room and had my nose nearly pressed against the brick wall as I attempted my descent. Well, you would think that I had just attempted to reserve an entire subway car for a private birthday party at 9am on a Monday morning! I was given the look of death by several people, glared at and even purposely shoved! Didn’t they know who I was? I am the person who always puts YOU PEOPLE first! I get wet so that you can be dry, I stand so that you can sit, and I always wipe the seat if I sprinkle when I tinkle! I am NOT the enemy!
I had made it almost half way down when one persistent old woman stopped dead in her tracks (umbrella fully opened, mind you) and refused to allow me to pass! Again, I said “excuse me” and gently nudged in. She looked past me as if I was not worthy of eye contact and muttered in a bitter tone “up on the left, down on the RIGHT!” (Like I don’t know that!) I pushed my way past, and continued along! I wanted to be rude and say something like “Yeah, well I tried that, Lady, but you “up people are hogging the whole stairway!” The whole way home, the meanie that lives inside of me (but rarely ever surfaces) thought of snippy and awful things that I could have said in response such as “If you horrible people weren’t so fat and in such a hurry to get to your meager homes where you will sit and eat meatloaf or pot roast for dinner at the same boring table you will sit at for the rest of your boring, insignificant lives, then I could get down these bloody stairs and be on my way to take over the world…muahahahahah!”
But, I didn’t say anything. Typical.
posted by Talia
@
4:01 PM
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