Why laptops are like men…

Early this morning around 2:45, my cell phone rang and I, being sound asleep 1 second earlier, reached over groggily to make the horrible noise stop, and accidentally knocked a glass of water from my nightstand onto my open laptop on the floor next to my bed!

I cursed the rogue who dared to call me at 2:45 AM on a Tuesday morning, and immediately shot out of bed to perform damage control. I dried off the keyboard and the rest of the laptop as best as I could, then hopped on Sarah’s computer to search for some advice from the marvelous interweb (Sarah happened to be awake because she was fighting her own middle of the night battle against a giant cockroach, throwing books, and eventually retreating from her own room into Steph’s for the night).

As per the suggestions I found on the internet, I removed the battery to my wet machine, gently tilted it to the side, unplugged all cords, and said a little prayer. As I laid back in bed, a funny thought crept into my head: Laptops are alot like men in the disastrous effect that one drunken phone call in the middle of the night can have! Against my conscious wishes, this got me thinking that there were a lot more similarities between laptops and men:

1. You’d be a fool to not always have a backup for either one in case they fail you.

2. If the one that belongs to YOU catches a nasty virus, you are screwed!

3. Although its common knowledge that either one can, and undoubtedly will crap out on you at any time, you tend to become hopelessly dependant upon them so that when they do crash and burn, you’re rendered non-functional for days, maybe months.

4. There are a lot of fancy features you can add to them which are guaranteed make your life more efficient or temporarily more exciting, but the things you really NEED are never covered by the warranty.

5. Even when you get a new one, you tend to keep your old one around, even if you never look at it or use it, because you’re not willing to part with all the memory that’s burned inside.