ZING!

I read this week on TheSuperficial that Alec Baldwin had called someone a "fruit-salad head" in an apparent attempt to cast a negative light on said person. This got me thinking about hilarious names to call people when you want to dis them, so I have compiled a little list, with comments, of my favorite zingers! Please feel free to add your own via comments!

1. Ass Clown: this is a classic favorite of mine! Picture an actual tiny clown that dwells deep within an anus. Is there really anything worse to call a person? Taken quite literally, an ass-clown is not one but two horrible things. First, all clowns should be banned from the world since those red lips and crazy shoes can scare the ugly off of Carrot Top! Second, not only is this creature a horrible clown, but it lives in an ass- the place where stinkyness is unavoidable, where the worst of all things gets expelled...I'll say no more...just leave you with that...

2. _______- Head: the "head series" is virtually limitless. Here you can fill in the blank with any word, really, and insult someone thereby. Apparently suggesting that someone's head is anything other than a functioning human body part which houses the brain, is an insult in and of itself. Some fun samples from the "head series" are shit-head, dootie-head, stupid-head (my favorite), dick-head (which has a double insulting meaning because dicks actually have a head of their own), and the ever popular butt-head.

3. _______- Bag: the "bag series" is very similar to the aforementioned "head series". Here, however you are basically telling someone that they are the equivalent to whatever sort of undesirable bag you decide to call them. Some examples of insulting bags to be compared to are: scum-bag, douche-bag, puss-bag, and crap-bag (Phoebe's husband on Friends)

AS AN ASIDE: Douche-bag has inspired a whole gamut of ancillary terms, to perpetuate the insult and vary the use of the word such as Douche-baggery(n), douche-baggage(n), and douche-baggedly(adv)

4. Gomer: Orignially derived from the 1960s Andy Griffith show character named Gomer Pyle, played by Jim Nabors, calling someone a "Gomer" indicates that, like the tv character, this person behaves like an imbicile from Alabama who looks like this:

5. Chachi: This name, too, was derived from a tv character, played by Scott Baio, from the 1970s hit show, Happy Days. When calling someone Chachi, you are indicating that this person is a little full of himself, pretty cheezy, and could possibly have feathered hair, a gold chain, or a shirt which reveals bare chest. Like this guy:


There are plenty more insulting things to call people, but I'd like some input from YOU....holla back and tell me what you REALLY think!