Dane Cook for President!

His forehead glistens with beads of sweat, beckoned by the bright theatrical lights above, as the beloved entertainer takes brisk, deliberate steps across the wide stage. With microphone in hand, he smiles gratefully upon thousands of screaming fans in the audience. His voice has paused to draw anticipation from the crowd, who already knows the next line he is about to speak. Some of them have impatiently begun shouting the words to him, as though cued to fill in with backup vocals. Suddenly, choking back giggles, he exclaims: “Start your day the holy way with Christ Chex!” The crowd roars with laughter and boisterous approval!

Such is life for 34-year-old comedian/ recently blossomed entertainment icon, Dane Cook. Originally from Boston, Cook started his comedy career in stand-up nearly 16 years ago. With the assistance of developing technology and new media forms, he has morphed into a hugely successful comedic enterprise. His official website, which receives over 500,000 hits per month, boasts of his first CD, Harmful if Swallowed, being certified Gold, and selling more than 450,000 copies in less than two years, placing it in the top 10 of Billboard’s catalog chart. His second release of a double CD/DVD, entitled Relaliation, was certified Platinum, and debuted at Number 4 on Billboard 200, earning Cook the credit as highest charting comedian in twenty-five years.

Beyond traditional media outlets, Cook has increased his fan base in huge numbers by frequently interacting with fans via his personal profile on the popular website, Myspace.com, where he has racked up over 1,000,000 online “friends”. Additionally, Cook has signed a multimedia deal with cable network HBO, to develop such projects as a feature-length stand-up film from his sold out performance at the TD Banknorth Garden in Boston on April 15, a comedy documentary series based around his 2005 college tour, Tourgasm, and various developments in nontraditional media formats, including mobile and broadband. Cook is set to executive produce all of his HBO projects through his production company SUperFInger Entertainment, appropriately dubbed after the ultra-emphatic hand gesture he derived by tweaking the customary flip of the bird. Already, Cook has gained an advantage with new media, in that his Comedy Central standup special became the most downloaded program on iTunes, shortly after its launch.

Cook’s film credits include Torque (2004), Waiting (2005) and future releases including Employee of the Month, co-starring Jessica Simpson, and Dan in Real Life, with Steve Carell. With little left to unconquered other than world peace and his own line of hair care products, Dane Cook has placed his name on the tip of America’s tongue, and has started a cult phenomenon among his worshipping fans, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that “Dane Cook is a silly bitch!”