MySpace Friend Requests
Whats the deal with people having like 978654 "friends" on myspace? I take the word "friend" very literally. If I accept you as my friend it's because you fit the criteria....and because you have filled out the official Talia Page
MYSPACE FRIEND REQUEST QUESTIONAIRE:
1. Are you sure you really want to be my friend?
2. Where do you live because I like to hang out with my friends. You should provide me with your address and telephone number so I can pop in and borrow a cup of sugar if I ever need it.
3. Are we going to be best friends? I have several best friends already and if you are going to be my new best friend, we should all get together and have a sleep over and you can braid my hair and we can order pizza and get some doritos and cheese dip, then give each other make overs....
4. Now that we're friends, are you going to ask me to be your maid of honor? If so, that's ok but I run into problems with friends that live out of state because I always have to go get measured and then fitted for the dress, then there's always the issue of what if I gain or lose weight before the wedding and that really gives me anxiety and well, I had an eating disorder when I was in 7th grade so I really dont think I need to be stressed out about whether Im going to need to lose weight before the wedding or not...
5. Am I going to be the godmother of your baby? If so, I think you should know that I was baptized catholic, but I really don't believe in the catholic church all too much because I love gay people and I really think they should be able to have all the rights that heterosexual couples have when it comes to marriage, adoption, and pretty much everything, so I don't know if I could with good conscience stand in front of god with your child in my arms and swear that I am going to lead this child into a life of catholicism because I really dont know if that is what is best for your baby, and what if the baby is gay?
6. Are you gay? If you are that's cool, cuz I have lots of gay friends. Im only asking because I would be glad to march in the gay parade with you, my friend, but you need to tell me the dates first because I know that San Francisco has a large gay population and well, so does New York, so I really need to plan cross country trips well in advance, and I want to make sure that if I commit to a parade that Im actually going to show up because thats just the kind of girl that I am.
7. Are we going to be friends with benefits? You need to let me know if that is your intention before I agree to be your friend, because I have always prided myself on my prudence and self respect, and if you and I are going to have that kind of a relationship, then perhaps we should spend alot more time together, get to know each other, and then if things progress, I strongly suggest couples counseling because I watch Dr. Phil and he always seems to get people back into their happy places as far as relationships go.
8. Are you allergic to any foods? Im asking because I think that eating and drinking are really great bonding experiences and if you're allergic to foods that could seriously cramp our abilities to explore new things and to share foods that maybe we have never tried before
9. What size shoe do you wear? I like to borrow shoes from my friends because Im really very frugal, so I rarely splurge on shoes for myself but its good to have friends with the same shoe size as me- oh and don't worry I'll take good care of them, and return them promptly, I hate when people borrow stuff and never return them.
10. What is your social security number? Im only asking because its a crazy world out there and I once had an internship where I was required to look up people's criminal histories and conduct background searches on them and you would totally be surprised what you can find out about a person! It was really very easy, and due to the Freedom of Information Act, you can go down to your local courthouse and use public computers to look up background information on people using their full name or better yet using their social security number. Its not that I dont trust you, per se, but I love my life and I want it to last for a very long time, so its in my best interest to protect myself as best I can.
OK, I'LL REVIEW YOUR APPLICATION AND GET BACK TO YOU WITH A RESPONSE IN 5-7 DAYS.
MYSPACE FRIEND REQUEST QUESTIONAIRE:
1. Are you sure you really want to be my friend?
2. Where do you live because I like to hang out with my friends. You should provide me with your address and telephone number so I can pop in and borrow a cup of sugar if I ever need it.
3. Are we going to be best friends? I have several best friends already and if you are going to be my new best friend, we should all get together and have a sleep over and you can braid my hair and we can order pizza and get some doritos and cheese dip, then give each other make overs....
4. Now that we're friends, are you going to ask me to be your maid of honor? If so, that's ok but I run into problems with friends that live out of state because I always have to go get measured and then fitted for the dress, then there's always the issue of what if I gain or lose weight before the wedding and that really gives me anxiety and well, I had an eating disorder when I was in 7th grade so I really dont think I need to be stressed out about whether Im going to need to lose weight before the wedding or not...
5. Am I going to be the godmother of your baby? If so, I think you should know that I was baptized catholic, but I really don't believe in the catholic church all too much because I love gay people and I really think they should be able to have all the rights that heterosexual couples have when it comes to marriage, adoption, and pretty much everything, so I don't know if I could with good conscience stand in front of god with your child in my arms and swear that I am going to lead this child into a life of catholicism because I really dont know if that is what is best for your baby, and what if the baby is gay?
6. Are you gay? If you are that's cool, cuz I have lots of gay friends. Im only asking because I would be glad to march in the gay parade with you, my friend, but you need to tell me the dates first because I know that San Francisco has a large gay population and well, so does New York, so I really need to plan cross country trips well in advance, and I want to make sure that if I commit to a parade that Im actually going to show up because thats just the kind of girl that I am.
7. Are we going to be friends with benefits? You need to let me know if that is your intention before I agree to be your friend, because I have always prided myself on my prudence and self respect, and if you and I are going to have that kind of a relationship, then perhaps we should spend alot more time together, get to know each other, and then if things progress, I strongly suggest couples counseling because I watch Dr. Phil and he always seems to get people back into their happy places as far as relationships go.
8. Are you allergic to any foods? Im asking because I think that eating and drinking are really great bonding experiences and if you're allergic to foods that could seriously cramp our abilities to explore new things and to share foods that maybe we have never tried before
9. What size shoe do you wear? I like to borrow shoes from my friends because Im really very frugal, so I rarely splurge on shoes for myself but its good to have friends with the same shoe size as me- oh and don't worry I'll take good care of them, and return them promptly, I hate when people borrow stuff and never return them.
10. What is your social security number? Im only asking because its a crazy world out there and I once had an internship where I was required to look up people's criminal histories and conduct background searches on them and you would totally be surprised what you can find out about a person! It was really very easy, and due to the Freedom of Information Act, you can go down to your local courthouse and use public computers to look up background information on people using their full name or better yet using their social security number. Its not that I dont trust you, per se, but I love my life and I want it to last for a very long time, so its in my best interest to protect myself as best I can.
OK, I'LL REVIEW YOUR APPLICATION AND GET BACK TO YOU WITH A RESPONSE IN 5-7 DAYS.
posted by Talia
@
10:11 AM
2 Comments:
At 11:38 AM ,
Anonymous said...
At 3:27 PM ,
Talia said...