An Inappropriate Conversation about Muppets

Today a somewhat insane train of thought crept into my brain. A co-worker described her friend's boyfriend as resembling a muppet. I took this comment more seriously than it was intended, obviously, because I started to think about what it might be like to actually date a muppet. Kermit would give me a fat complex fer sher! I mean, just look at those arms! I need a man thats bigger than me.

Then I thought: Hey Rowlf is certainly a much preferable option! I mean, he's cute and cuddly and musically inclined! He's even hairier than me (also a pre-requisite)! And now that I think about it, he was one of the more pleasant characters among the muppets, and come to think of it, he sorta reminds me of Jim James from My Morning Jacket. So I took a chance and posed the ridiculous issue to my friend, Yael, who just happens to be in love with Jim James. The following IM conversation ensued:

talia: ok so a co-worker was telling me that her friend's boyfriend looks like a jim hensen character...

Yael: OH MAN

talia: and I was like "is it at least a cute one?"

Yael: THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD

talia: and then I said: "Kermit would give me a fat complex but Rowlf is actually pretty hot"

talia: he plays music (piano)

Yael: rowlf is awesome

talia: he's fun, hairy- a real guy's guy

Yael: agreed!!!!

talia: so then I thought, maybe Jim James reminds me of Rowlf a bit

Yael: awwwwwwww

Yael: that is awesome

talia: hairy and musically inclined and cute

Yael: hmmm, i have to think about this one for a minute

Yael: oh man. rowlf doesnt have enough hair

talia: what do you mean?! he is ALL hair!

Yael: but not shagggy!!!!!

talia: yeah, kinda

talia: Rowlf is totally hot!

talia: I would sooo date Rowlf

Yael: ugh... me too for sure

Yael: yes.. no question

talia: haha

Yael: i am hoping

talia: there is something seriously wrong with us, by the way

Yael: something is wrong with us?! how do you figure?

talia: we want to date Rowlf!

Yael: so? hes nice... and kind...and musical...and attractive

Yael: do you need to slap me? what is going on here?

talia: haha. hilarious. you dont need to convince me that Rowlf is a suitable mate

talia: Im on board, but

talia: I do fear that "others" might find us to be a little off our rockers!

talia: I feel like he was always pretty level headed too

Yael: i agree. voice of reason

talia: like whenever there was a crisis he'd just figure out a way to use music to fix everything

talia: thats MY kinda guy!

talia: ya know, I just MIGHT be in love with Rowlf!

Yael: im a little serious though

talia: Im totally serious! thats whats so funny!

Yael: i mean as serious as i could be about being in love with a muppet

talia: hahhaha I know! believe me, I get it!

talia: as far as musican muppets go, I would take Rowlf over Animal. Animal seems irresponsible

talia: not a very good communicator

Yael: you know, i would say that except

talia: I couldn't bring him home to my family

Yael: patrick hallahan (of My Morning Jacket) is Animal. they even call him Animal

talia: ohhh right

Yael: and patrick is a major part of that band so, i am inclined to think differently about Animal

talia: Ok, you can date Animal.