Late Night Ruminations...

So its 9pm, on Friday night- the start of Labor Day Weekend, and I am sitting on the 36th floor of a very large office building downtown, at a law firm where almost ever self respecting person has left already to have fun with their family and friends. I, however am celebrating the holiday laboring-pretty much the opposite of the entire reason we celebrate labor day, but dem's da breaks I guess. I don't know how many of you have worked crazy long hours before, but at a certain point your sensible brain shuts off, and you (or maybe just I) start having some of the silliest conversations with myself that I've ever had! Because I need a break right now, I'm going to share some of these silly thoughts with you.

Have you ever fucked up a sneeze? I love sneezing. It feels great. Like when you've finally reached that awkward spot on your back that itches like hell by bending your knees and scooching up and down against the door frame...and it feels like every nerve ending in your body is melting into that one spot, and it's devine relief from frustrating torture? Well that's what a sneeze feels like...sorta...but in your nose. Anyway, have you ever fucked one up and gotten really disappointed by it? It happens when you anticipate that one is coming and you get excited and you pre-emptively say "hachoo". You actually say the word "hachoo" but you havn't sneezed yet, and the absurdity of it all has caused your nose to stop itching completely, so you dont even have to sneeze anymore. I did that yesterday. It sucked.

Tonight I was on my way to the bathroom and I saw a guy who was entering the office back up into the ID censor pad on the door and the door unlocked without him using his hands to swipe his ID at all. I soon realized that he must have had his magnetic ID card in his back pocket. Genius! I was dying to try that trick myself on my way back from the bathroom but when I finally got there I noticed someone walking down the hallway behind me. What if she saw me back into the door and it did not work? That would be embarassing. Maybe my pants are made from a thicker material than the clever guy I saw pull it off a few minutes ago. At the last minute I ditched the plan, but did not give up entirely. About an hour later, I peed again (I drink alot of water), and on my return trip, I had the opportunity to put my ID in my back pocket and brush my butt up against the door instead of the regular way of swiping into the office. It worked. I clenched my fist and did a low-key fist pump to myself. Does this excitement over such a trivial situation make me pathetic?

I think I need a drink...