According to Talia

What you need to know, straight from the source: Ms. Talia Page

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

COACHELLA UPDATE

The Lemonheads have been added to the Coachella Festival line up for Sunday, April 29, 2007 in Indio California!

I still do not have tickets :( If anyone has an extra 3-day pass, holla at me. Otherwise, I'm stalking eBay and Craig's List till I get mine!

MUST.....GET....TICKETS......

Monday, February 26, 2007

Oh, it was a GOOD weekend!

Happy Monday! I can only hope you all had as good a weekend as I did! I was really freakin busy, as usual, but had an amazing time- I'll sleep when I'm dead! Here's the recap:







I saw the Lemonheads at Southpaw in Brooklyn on Friday. And by "Lemonheads" I am referring to Evan Dando (of course) touring with Vess Ruhtenberg on bass and LonPaul Ellrich on drums. Friday's show was a bit less energetic than the show they played at Irving Plaza back in December, but I still enjoyed it. It looked like Evan was a bit out of sorts or bored, but he got through it pretty successfully.

They played a mix of older and newer stuff, but there was no acoustic set, which was disappointing. Evan's hair inhumanly perfect! He must get it cut twice a month- I swear there were no split ends, it was shiny as can be, and so bouncy! Vess, was hot as usual! He's super sexy in a Benicio Del Toro dirty guy kind of way, and he also looks a bit like Liv Tyler...yeah, I said LIV. it's hard to explain...it might be his pretty lips...






Saturday was action packed- I did an NY Cares project in the afternoon, hit the gym, then headed to Knickerbocker for dinner (Be Nice to Jed Day) then Sing Sing for karaoke till the wee hours of the morn- I do a sick Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar!


Sunday- ANOTHER LEMONHEADS show at Maxwell's in Hoboken. As we were walking into the venue, Evan was walking out and he accidentally grazed my boob with his elbow! It was awesome (I am fully aware of my disgusting groupie status, but I'm comfortable with it, so just never you mind!) This time, Evan and the boys rocked the place out and had an amazing time up on stage, adding a crowd pleasing acoustic/cover set which included the folk song, My Baby's Gone (printed below). I tried to figure out who originally recorded this song, but it was unclear via Google and the small amount of time I was willing to devote to my research, so I'm going to leave the origin in the air- sorry.

The band was having a ton of fun, and invited the opening band, Vietnam, (a really cool, mellow, psychedelic rock band that has opened for them throughout the tour) up on stage to jam out! The crowd was totally into it, until the jerks at Maxwell's shut the sound off and put on overhead music at 11:50 pm without any advance notice. It was totally lame on their part, and everyone was pissed. I'm sure Evan had planned on coming back and finishing with Its a Shame About Ray, and a few more Lemonheads songs, but he was never given the opportunity. BOO! The guys were disappointed too but they kept their cool, and Vess even patted me on the back and smiled at me as he was walking off the stage! I'm sure he recognized me because I stood in the same spot as I did on Friday and stared at him 80% of the time (about 10% of my stares were returned with smiles).

So, that's why I'm uber tired today (the PATH train sucks on Sunday nights/ Monday mornings) but it was all well worth it! Have a great week!

My Baby's Gone
(Sorry, I dunno who originally recorded this)

The milkman whistles softly as he comes to my door
The mailman brings a letter just like he did before
They seem so busy all day long as though there's nothing wrong
Don't they know the world has ended my baby's gone

Hold back the rushing minutes make the wind lie still
Don't let the moonlight shine across the lonely hill
Dry all the raindrops hold back the sun
My world has ended my baby's gone

I'll wake up sometime in the night and realize you're gone
I toss and turn in my bed and wait for day to come
I try to tell my lonely heart that we can make it all alone
But it cries the world has ended my baby's gone
My world has ended my baby's gone

Friday, February 23, 2007

Finally, a solution!


"Find out why masturbation is harmful for your health and for your life and what you can do to stop it. Read the only step-by-step program available in the world today and you will succeed in ending the habit of masturbation and start enjoying your life to the fullest.."
Wow, finally a solution to the problem that all of us are facing! This book is a true God- send! Consider the negative effects that masturbation has had on your life personally: How many times have you had trouble typing at work because your hands are sore and raw, your joints achy from a full night of dolphin flogging? And how about all that blindness in America? Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles- they couldn't stop the madness but YOU can! I bet you're squinting to read this blog right now. Well, fear not my monkey petting friend! This book is available to you for just $57! That's right, for a measly $57 you can get your life back! I would think $57 is a small price to pay to earn your spot back in heaven and miraculously prevent premature death and inevitable blindness, don't you? TAKE THE ACTION NOW!
PS, as far as I can tell, this is no joke!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Cauliflower, string beans and....WHAT?



This just goes to show, you cannot take life too seriously! Yesterday, after I left work, I stopped at this little market that I pass on the way to the subway every day. All of the employees, and presumably the owners, are of Asian descent. They have great produce, and it's cheap, so I stop there from time to time. Yesterday, as I was browsing the veggie aisle, I noticed this sign, and nearly pissed myself with glee at the fact that I was lucky enough to have a camera phone handy to capture this glorious moment in time!

Do you get it? "Broccori" is supposed to be the Asian-accent phonetic spelling of "Broccoli"! Its too phenomenal for words if you ask me! I always think its funny when the menus for Chinese food restaurants either fail to use, or misuse the plural tenses of words such as:

"Fried rice with shrimps", or "Chicken with Chinese noodle"

But THIS is beyond funny- THIS brings an unprecedented accuracy to The Christmas Story ("Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra!").

An equally interesting observation: When I sent this photo to my mom this morning, her rather brilliant reply was: "I love it! But by the way, that's LETTUCE (Rettuce) isn't it? Not Broccori?"

She's right, that is rettuce you are looking at there, but in front of the rettuce is the broccori!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Please be aware...


This is a letter opener. They are important. Normally I would not succumb to such frivolity as the use of a letter opener. After all, most normal envelopes open just fine if you stick your finger in the corner and briskly rip. Oh, I know I run the risk of incurring a paper cut, but I live on the edge when it comes to opening mail, and I'm pretty much a badass in this department- I thrive on these dangerous thrills.
Today though, I have discovered the main reason we should all be using letter openers. I invite you to close your mind to the possibility of other reasons for which to rely on a letter opener, and instead, rest your decision to use one exclusively from now on, on the following story:
Today, I was sitting at my desk at work, opening a shit ton of mail addressed to a man who has been dead for a year. FYI, if you think that the National World WarII Museum and the Special Olympics will stop expecting you to buy annual calendars from them when you have left this Earth, you are sadly mistaken. Anyway, I'm opening a shit ton of mail (a shit ton is a unit of measurement most commonly used by individuals born between 1978-1985. It means a large quantity). I am, of course, using my badass, trusty self assured method of opening said mail, with the old "finger in the corner, upward rip, motion", as I usually do. Suddenly, I notice that my confidence and quick pace has caused me to be a bit careless, as I have managed to slice myself with the envelope edge, right in the webbing between my index and middle fingers, causing a pretty nasty paper cut.
I assume we ALL know what the universally accepted remedy for a paper cut is- licking said wound until bleeding has ceased. This becomes tricky, however when you've got a cut that is positioned in between your index and middle finger, however. You see where I'm going with this....that's right....I had to engage in a lewd and obscene gesture in order to take care of this particular paper cut! Mortified, and fearful of being discovered in one of the most offensive and office-inappropriate actions imaginable, I, naturally bend down and hide under my desk, to carry out the deed.
I successfully stopped the bleeding and narrowly escaped being caught this time around, but imagine the consequences if I had been discovered openly licking my awkward paper cut by a co-worker! Worse yet, imagine if someone had caught me hiding under my desk to do the licking! I shudder at the mere thought!
I've put in my order for the next shipment from Staples: Pretzel rods in a bulk plastic container, medium binder clips, and ONE STANDARD SWINGLINE LETTER OPENER PLEASE!!!!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Old news is new news

If you don't already, you NEED to be reading Pop Sugar! Its one of the best, most frequently updated celebrity breaking news/ gossip sites on the internet! I am an avid reader, myself, as well as a subscriber to some of their readers' groups. They have a group on celebrity sightings, which I submitted my own photo for this week.

Excitingly, the girls over at Pop Sugar decided to feature MY PHOTO on the main site today, giving me another 30 seconds of fame! Thanks guys :)

The Apples in Stereo at The Bowery



(I took all the featured photos myself!)










Last night I had the pleasure of seeing The Apples in Stereo play at The Bowery Ballroom in Manhattan! The Bowery recently (February 10th to be exactl) received the 2007 Plug Independent Music Award for Live Venue of the Year.

As an aside: Here are the other top venues in the country named by Plug for 2007
Live Music Venue Of The Year:
Bowery Ballroom, New York, NY
, Cake Shop, New York, NY, Doug Fir Lounge, Portland, OR, Empty Bottle, Chicago, IL, Emo's, Austin, TX, Joe's Pub, New York, NY, McCarren Pool, Brooklyn, NY, Mercury Lounge, New York, NY, Schubas Tavern, Chicago, IL, The Echo, Los Angeles, CA, Troubadour, Los Angeles, CA, Union Hall, Brooklyn, NY


Opening for the Apples in Stereo last night were Casper and the Cookies, from Athens, GA. They were an ok band, but the most entertaining parts of their performance were the flamboyant dance moves by bass player, Jim, who bore a striking similarity to Chris Farley's character, "Barney", on the episode of SNL where he tried out for Chippendale's with Patrick Swayze. Oh, and the glittery faux eyelashes worn by the lead singer were a bit distracting, but you could tell the band was having a good time, and that generally makes for a decent show overall.














The Apples played a nice mix of old and new songs, performing, Same Old Drag, Energy, Can You Feel It, and Sun is Out, from their latest album, The New Magnetic Wonder, and also gracing us with an even newer, as yet unrecorded song, the title of which I don't believe we were told, but it, too, was great! The show was fantastic! The energy was high, as you would expect from such a jumpy, head bobbing, Wah-Ohhhh, kind of band! Lead singer, Robert Schneider, who I OF COURSE, have a crush on, was super cute, sipping hot tea between songs, and dancing around in his red sneakers. Before they went on, he mingled around with concert goers in the crowd, and even accidentally punched me in the stomach as I walked behind him, while he was trying to put his arm around someone for a photo op!

I loved the show, I had a great time, I bought merch, I danced, I sang, and I came home with the tunes in my head! The Apples are currently on tour, and I would highly recommend checking them out when they hit your town. Oh, and don't worry if you can't make it for the opening band, you're not missing all that much!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2007



Oh Boy!! The 2007 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is out, and this year it has a music theme! Not only is the gorgeous Beyonce on the cover, but inside, the models have posed with musical acts such as Panic at the Disco, Gnarls Barkley, Aerosmith, Jimmy Buffet, Kanye West, and Kenny Chesney. You've also GOT TO check out the body painting photos! It is incredible how realistically they can make the body paint look like actual clothing. My favorite is the painted t-shirt below with The Who logo! AMAZING! Enjoy!






























Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Talia's Song Pick-o-the-week


Is the heir to the Hallmark fortune single?
Today is a bunch of over-rated commercial hype if you ask me, but still, I am not opposed to honoring those I love, so I'm dedicating my song pick-o-the-week to my loved ones- ALL OF YOU! This is a beautiful little ditty by the band that I LOVE the most...
Love Boat Captain
By: Pearl Jam
Is this just another day,... this god forgotten place?
First comes love, then comes pain. Let the games begin,...
Questions rise and answers fall,... insurmountable.
Love boat captain
Take the reigns and steer us towards the clear,... here.
It's already been sung, but it can't be said enough.
All you need is love
Is this just another phase? Earthquakes making waves...
Trying to shake the cancer off? Stupid human beings,...
Once you hold the hand of love,.. it's all surmountable.
Hold me, and make it the truth,...
That when all is lost there will be you,...
Cause to the universe I don't mean a thing
And there's just one word I stil believe
And it's
It's an art to live with pain,... mix the light into grey,..
Lost 9 friends we'll never know,.. 2 years ago today
And if our lives became too long, would it add to our regret?
And the young, they can lose hope cause they can't see beyond today,...
The wisdom that the old can't give away
Hey,...
Constant recoil...
Sometimes life
Don't leave you alone.
Hold me, and make it the truth,...
That when all is lost there will be you.
Cause to the universe I don't mean a thing
And there's just one word that I still believe and it's
Love,... love. love. love. love.
Love boat captain
Take the reigns,.. steer us towards the clear.
I know it's already been sung,... can't be said enough.
Love is all you need,.. all you need is love,..
Love,.. love,...
Love.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Neighbor shoots police officer- Talia becomes local celebrity!

For those of you who don't already know what crazy events shook down in my neighborhood this weekend, I will attempt to break it down for you now.
DISCLAIMER: All of below mentioned criminal activity is alleged at this point, because as you know, in our fabulous legal system here in NY State, a suspect is innocent until proven guilty.

It all began very early Saturday morning, while I was fast asleep in my bed. I heard banging on my bedroom window, and ignored it initially because I assumed that it was a drunk neighbor, or someone who had the wrong apartment. Afterall, no one I knew would be banging on my window at 6am before the sun rose on a Saturday morning. Simultaneously, the door bell was ringing, however, and if you've ever been in my apartment when the doorbell rings, you know it is the most obnoxious sound ever. This caused Sarah to get up and go to the door, and upon doing so, she discovered that there were several police officers flashing their badges at her, prompting her to open up and let them in. Meanwhile, I heard quite a commotion outside, and drew my shades back to see what all the fuss was about. I was immediately shot in the face with a high beam helicopter search light and I saw the SWAT team encompassing my view.
I proceed into the living room where I was informed that a man had shot a police officer, and was believed to be in my back yard. Holy Crap! From this point on, chaos ensued, Sarah and I jumped up and down high-fiving with excitement, then watched the whole scene evolve from our couch in the living room. You can read the news yourself for a more factual account of this weekend's events, but since I was there in the mix, you're gonna get my version from me!
We watched uniformed officers search our backyard, and survey the apartment house next door, which was believed to hold the suspect. A very nice detective told us that after shooting a police officer at the corner of our block, the suspect entered the house next door, and they were now trying to catch him. Actually all the detectives and officers we came in contact with this weekend were extremely nice, and professional, and made us feel safe, although we were too excited to be scared anyway.
Eventually the police gained access to the house next door, arrested the suspect, and obtained a warrant to search the premises whereupon, they found a large amount of marijuana and a loaded hand gun in the backyard between our fences!
Our whole block was barricaded off all day, and was filled with reporters, detectives, the NYPD Crime Scene Unit who was going through our garbage and collecting evidence all over the place. We were interviewed, initially, by the NYPD regarding our knowledge of our neighbors, which was very minimal. Later, I was interviewed at the corner store, while buying toilet paper, by a tv news reporter. That segment aired on the Channel 11 Ten Oclock news on Saturday night. Then on Sunday morning, I was again awakened by several news teams who wanted to interview me and film our backyard where the weapon was found. Caught off guard, and right out of bed, I gave 3 more televised interviews, this time in my pajamas without even having brushed my teeth!
The police officer that was shot, Andrew Suarez, took a bullet to the neck but is stable and expected to make a full recovery. The suspect's is charged with attempted murder and drug possession. His wife, an 8-month pregnant police officer, is charged with tampering with evidence after trying to get rid of the vehicle her husband was in when the shooting occurred. I, am now the civilian authority on crime in Park Slope!
Best quote ever: "I can't condone breaking the law under any circumstances."
~TTP, ESQ.

LINKS to my televised interviews:
CW 11 News at 10 (two clips)1. Click on the News at 10 Recap for Sunday February 11, 2007, then fast forward to about 2 minutes and 55 seconds into the broadcast for the Cop Shooting story.

2. Click on the video clip entitled "Cop Shot- Park Slope" for my toilet paper buying interview. (Saturday February 10, 2007)
ABC 7
This story is titled: NYPD Officer, husband arraigned in undercover car shooting (Saturday February 10, 2007)
I was also interviewed for a Spanish language channel but I didn't bother to look up that one. My brilliance is probably lost in the translation.

Friday, February 09, 2007

FISHY!!


My friend (who is amazing by the way) was getting ready to paint an underwater mural and I asked him to make me into a fishy, and THIS is the final product! IT'S MEE!! Do ya see the resemblance? Check out my notebook.....I absolutely freaking LOVE this picture! THANK YOU :)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Fun Videos

Ever seen an episode of Making the Video on MTV? The special effects, the kraft services tables, the 3-day shoots.....booooo-ring! Here are a few low budget videos from some Indie bands which I think are better than any extravagant pyrotechnic monstrosity the majors fund!

This Peter Bjorn and John video (FYI those are 3 people not just two) is for the song Young Folks on their album, Writer's Block (2006). I was first attracted to this song by the awesome whistling sequence which reminds me of how awesome whistlilng can be in a song (think GnR Patience)! THEN, when I saw the video for the first time, I loved it even more! Check it, cuz!

The next video is for my good buddies The Apples in Stereo, who I am lucky enough to be seeing at Bowery next Thursday (yes, I really got my tickets this time)!! This video was shot in a car (you're welcome, Captain Obvious) while the band was in Park City for the Sundance Film Festival. If you've ever been in a car with a bunch of your friends when an awesome song comes on and you're all collectively jamming out and enjoying the ride, then you what this video is about. Its for the song Same Old Drag, off their new album The New Magnetic Wonder (just released this week btw). Also look for the Apples' performance on Late Night with Conan O'Brien on February 14.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

LOST TONIGHT!


HEY, don't forget to tune in to abc at 10 pm (eastern time) for an all new episode of LOST tonight! We are going to get 16 weeks of new episodes in a row, and I certainly hope I'm not as disappointed with these as I was with the last smattering of new episodes! Basically it turned into the Beat Up Sawyer Show, and since I take a Dalai Lama-esque approach to non-violence on TV, I frickin hated it. Not to mention all these new characters of "others" to keep track of, and killing off Echo! WTF was that about? He was awesome! Where were all the creepy, super natural coincidences and scary aparitions of Walt dripping in a ghoulish plasma substance (ok maybe it was water)? If this episode starts with a game of kick Sawyer in the nards again, then I'm done! I swear!

Friday, February 02, 2007

Talia's Song Pick-o-the-week


I love myspace sweetheart, Lily Allen! Who doesn't? The feisty sneakers-with-a-party dress wearing 21-year old singer from London made a name for herself by uploading some rough tracks to her myspace, and the rest is history. You've all probably heard Smile, which is her biggest hit so far, but my favorite is the song I've chosen for my song pick of the week- Littlest Things. Listen to her full debut Album (2007 Capitol), Alright, Still, streamed on Rollingstone.com HERE. The beats are cutesy and fun to listen to, but the coolest part of her songs are the down to earth lyrics which ably showcase her no-nonsense personality.
Littlest Things
By: Lily Allen
Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I dont know why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.
The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?
Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
no one in the world that could replace you
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too
The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things remind me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?