According to Talia

What you need to know, straight from the source: Ms. Talia Page

Friday, March 31, 2006

Dane Cook for President!


















His forehead glistens with beads of sweat, beckoned by the bright theatrical lights above, as the beloved entertainer takes brisk, deliberate steps across the wide stage. With microphone in hand, he smiles gratefully upon thousands of screaming fans in the audience. His voice has paused to draw anticipation from the crowd, who already knows the next line he is about to speak. Some of them have impatiently begun shouting the words to him, as though cued to fill in with backup vocals. Suddenly, choking back giggles, he exclaims: “Start your day the holy way with Christ Chex!” The crowd roars with laughter and boisterous approval!

Such is life for 34-year-old comedian/ recently blossomed entertainment icon, Dane Cook. Originally from Boston, Cook started his comedy career in stand-up nearly 16 years ago. With the assistance of developing technology and new media forms, he has morphed into a hugely successful comedic enterprise. His official website, which receives over 500,000 hits per month, boasts of his first CD, Harmful if Swallowed, being certified Gold, and selling more than 450,000 copies in less than two years, placing it in the top 10 of Billboard’s catalog chart. His second release of a double CD/DVD, entitled Relaliation, was certified Platinum, and debuted at Number 4 on Billboard 200, earning Cook the credit as highest charting comedian in twenty-five years.

Beyond traditional media outlets, Cook has increased his fan base in huge numbers by frequently interacting with fans via his personal profile on the popular website, Myspace.com, where he has racked up over 1,000,000 online “friends”. Additionally, Cook has signed a multimedia deal with cable network HBO, to develop such projects as a feature-length stand-up film from his sold out performance at the TD Banknorth Garden in Boston on April 15, a comedy documentary series based around his 2005 college tour, Tourgasm, and various developments in nontraditional media formats, including mobile and broadband. Cook is set to executive produce all of his HBO projects through his production company SUperFInger Entertainment, appropriately dubbed after the ultra-emphatic hand gesture he derived by tweaking the customary flip of the bird. Already, Cook has gained an advantage with new media, in that his Comedy Central standup special became the most downloaded program on iTunes, shortly after its launch.

Cook’s film credits include Torque (2004), Waiting (2005) and future releases including Employee of the Month, co-starring Jessica Simpson, and Dan in Real Life, with Steve Carell. With little left to unconquered other than world peace and his own line of hair care products, Dane Cook has placed his name on the tip of America’s tongue, and has started a cult phenomenon among his worshipping fans, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that “Dane Cook is a silly bitch!”

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Ipod Shuffle Game

This is a fun test of fate game you can play with your ipod!

Simply put your music library on shuffle and answer the questions with songs in the random order in which they come up. It doesn't really make sense at times, but some answers you come up with will freak you out.

Here are my results:
1. What's my mood like right now?
It Hurts to be in Love- Gene Pitney

2. How's tomorrow going to be for me?
Mecca- Gene Pitney

3. What kind of person am I?
The Good Fight- Dashboard Confessional

4. Am I loved?
Number One- John Legend

5. How can I achieve my highest potential?
Leave a Tender Moment Alone- Billy Joel

6. What should I do with my life?
Sci-Fi Affair- My Life with the Thrill Kill Cult

7. What is my theme song?
Angie- The Rolling Stones

8. What is my best quality?
Crazy In Love- Beyonce featuring Jay-Z

9. How does my sex life look?
We Are All On Drugs- Weezer

10. What's the meaning of life?
Down- Pearl Jam

11. How do people see me?
Peep Show- Joe

12. Would I make a good catch?
Ready or Not- The Fugees

13. How crazy am I?
The Promise- The Cure

14. Will I have a good life in general?
Break Stuff- Limp Bizkit

16. Can *hot celeb* and I ever be more than friends?
Throw Your Set in the Air- Cypress Hill

17. What's going to happen to me this week?
MFC- Pearl Jam

18. Where will I be in a year?
Nothingman- Pearl Jam

19. What is my biggest wish?
Send Me and Angel- Real Life

20. What is the love of my life doing at this very moment?
Damaged People- Depeche Mode

21. How will I die?
I Can't- Radiohead (I swear I didnt plan that, but I told you I was immortal!)

22. What will happen after I die?
Love Hurts- Nazareth

23. How do my friends feel about me?
Bugs- Pearl Jam

NOW YOU TRY!

Press Release- Talia Style


















“But Eddie Vedder did it on MTV!” It was 1993 and I was being dragged from the school gymnasium, during a 7th grade spring dance because I had rolled up the sleeve of my brown corduroy jacket and scribbled “Pro-Choice” on my arm with a black permanent marker to emulate the stylish liberalism of my musical hero, Eddie Vedder. I had recently watched MTV’s special: Pearl Jam, Unplugged, and thought I would make a great statement by copying lead singer, Vedder’s, rock star behavior at my catholic school dance. My expectations turned out to be ill conceived and I was asked to leave the event early, albeit with a defiant smile across my 13-year-old lips.

For me, the idolatry started early, and Pearl Jam has maintained a constant presence in my life to this day. The band, which was formed in 1990, and released its first album, Ten, on March 11, 1991, has proved its endurance for well over a decade. Pearl Jam fans are a well organized and dedicated mass of music lovers all over the world, who are highly rewarded by the band they love the most with more authorized releases of live bootlegs than any other band, first dibs to registered fans on coveted concert tickets, and a complimentary Christmas single released on vinyl to all fan club members every year.

Pearl Jam’s last release of a full new album was Riot Act in December, 2002, but fans are currently salivating in anticipation of the release of their newest self- titled album, on May 2, 2006. The first single from this album, Worldwide Suicide, has been impressively credited as Billboard’s highest modern rock debut ever!

The first leg of Pearl Jam’s worldwide tour in support of the new album kicks off in Toronto, Ontario on May 9. A full schedule of released tour dates can be found on the band’s official website: www.tenclub.net.

Un-informed bloggers and music journalists alike may be referring to the recent events in Pearl Jam’s career as a “come-back”, but true fans and seasoned music critics are well aware that this continued success is to be expected from one of the greatest alternative rock bands of all time. Just as the trademarked brown corduroy jacket remains hanging in my closet, well preserved and stylish as ever, even 13 years after my 7th grade dance, so too will Pearl Jam remain for years to come, a omnipresent, continuing source of soul strengthening musical enjoyment for fans both new and old.

Talia's Song Pick-of-the-week!

Given to Fly
BY: Pearl Jam

He could've tuned in, tuned in
But he tuned out
A bad time, nothing could save him
Alone in a corridor, waiting, locked out
He got up outta there, ran for hundreds of miles
He made it to the ocean, had a smoke in a tree or (smoked a joint in a tree)
The wind rose up, set him down on his knee
A wave came crashing like a fist to the jaw
Delivered him wings, "Hey, look at me now"
Arms wide open with the sea as his floor
Oh, power, oh
He's.. flying
Whole
High.. wide,

ohHe floated back down 'cause he wanted to share
His key to the locks on the chains he saw everywhere
But first he was stripped and then he was stabbed
By faceless men, well, fuckers
He still stands
And he still gives his love, he just gives it away
The love he receives is the love that is saved
And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky
A human being that was given to fly
High.. flying
Oh, oh
High.. flying
Oh, oh
He's flying
Oh, oh

Friday, March 17, 2006

MySpace Friend Requests

Whats the deal with people having like 978654 "friends" on myspace? I take the word "friend" very literally. If I accept you as my friend it's because you fit the criteria....and because you have filled out the official Talia Page

MYSPACE FRIEND REQUEST QUESTIONAIRE:
1. Are you sure you really want to be my friend?

2. Where do you live because I like to hang out with my friends. You should provide me with your address and telephone number so I can pop in and borrow a cup of sugar if I ever need it.

3. Are we going to be best friends? I have several best friends already and if you are going to be my new best friend, we should all get together and have a sleep over and you can braid my hair and we can order pizza and get some doritos and cheese dip, then give each other make overs....

4. Now that we're friends, are you going to ask me to be your maid of honor? If so, that's ok but I run into problems with friends that live out of state because I always have to go get measured and then fitted for the dress, then there's always the issue of what if I gain or lose weight before the wedding and that really gives me anxiety and well, I had an eating disorder when I was in 7th grade so I really dont think I need to be stressed out about whether Im going to need to lose weight before the wedding or not...

5. Am I going to be the godmother of your baby? If so, I think you should know that I was baptized catholic, but I really don't believe in the catholic church all too much because I love gay people and I really think they should be able to have all the rights that heterosexual couples have when it comes to marriage, adoption, and pretty much everything, so I don't know if I could with good conscience stand in front of god with your child in my arms and swear that I am going to lead this child into a life of catholicism because I really dont know if that is what is best for your baby, and what if the baby is gay?

6. Are you gay? If you are that's cool, cuz I have lots of gay friends. Im only asking because I would be glad to march in the gay parade with you, my friend, but you need to tell me the dates first because I know that San Francisco has a large gay population and well, so does New York, so I really need to plan cross country trips well in advance, and I want to make sure that if I commit to a parade that Im actually going to show up because thats just the kind of girl that I am.

7. Are we going to be friends with benefits? You need to let me know if that is your intention before I agree to be your friend, because I have always prided myself on my prudence and self respect, and if you and I are going to have that kind of a relationship, then perhaps we should spend alot more time together, get to know each other, and then if things progress, I strongly suggest couples counseling because I watch Dr. Phil and he always seems to get people back into their happy places as far as relationships go.

8. Are you allergic to any foods? Im asking because I think that eating and drinking are really great bonding experiences and if you're allergic to foods that could seriously cramp our abilities to explore new things and to share foods that maybe we have never tried before

9. What size shoe do you wear? I like to borrow shoes from my friends because Im really very frugal, so I rarely splurge on shoes for myself but its good to have friends with the same shoe size as me- oh and don't worry I'll take good care of them, and return them promptly, I hate when people borrow stuff and never return them.

10. What is your social security number? Im only asking because its a crazy world out there and I once had an internship where I was required to look up people's criminal histories and conduct background searches on them and you would totally be surprised what you can find out about a person! It was really very easy, and due to the Freedom of Information Act, you can go down to your local courthouse and use public computers to look up background information on people using their full name or better yet using their social security number. Its not that I dont trust you, per se, but I love my life and I want it to last for a very long time, so its in my best interest to protect myself as best I can.

OK, I'LL REVIEW YOUR APPLICATION AND GET BACK TO YOU WITH A RESPONSE IN 5-7 DAYS.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

PJ PJ PJ PJ PJ!!!!















Holla, peops! I'm back from vacation and happy to be alive during this most recent fantastic PJ season!

As you SHOULD already know, Pearl Jam has announced the first leg of their worldwide tour
DATES HERE

Also, the first single released, "Worldwide Suicide" has scored highest modern rock debut EVER by Billboard.

As if that were'nt enough....Here's the icing on the cake: An additional song released by my favorite band in the whole universe: "Unemployable"

IM IN HEAVEN :)

Friday, March 03, 2006

VACATION
















I am going on vacation for roughly the next 10 days. I will be soaking in two oceans. Be jealous....be very very jealous! Oh, and miss me tons! :)